Is it blonde, or blond?

How to laugh at a later date over the death of a grandparent

2010-08-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

So...I have realized that I really like to start posts with the word "so". So I might just start every single post with that. Moving along so the story matches the headline. (not to be confused with the carpet matching the drapes)
So how does one find humor in the death of a grandparent whom they loved very much you ask?
My maternal grandmother died back in 1995. Her death of course was not funny. The story that follows has it's moments. Hmmm, I wonder if this will translate in written form the same as it does in verbal. Because lord knows I love to get animated when I tell a story. Moving along...
Grandma died in 1995 right before Christmas. She was cremated so there was no rush for a service for her. Plus, it was right before Christmas and that was her favorite holiday of all. Grandma just loved Christmas. Everything about it. The family decided it would be better if we let grandma sorta hang around for the holidays, so my Aunt Donna who is an artist decided to take Grandma's urn and paint it up all fancy like and prop her up in front of the Christmas tree. You know, one last Christmas with the family. Nothing says family love like a hand painted urn with Grandma inside in front of the Christmas Tree. Right? *head tilt* Right?
I really am not all that sure what Donna did with Grandma between the end of the holidays and when they held the service and buried her ashes with Pop. Geez, maybe I should find out. That might be an entire story by ITSELF.
When it was time for Grandma's service I was unable to make the service (that in fact IS an entire story by itself. So we will for now leave it at I was unable to attend) ...I was unable to make the service but I thought it would be a neat (who says neat anymore?) for me to go to the little church around the corner from my office and have my own service simultaneously while the real service was going on. Oh, did I mention the service was taking place is Virginia? Well, it was. At 11:00am I drove to the little church and I parked my car. At this point, seeing the church, it hit me that I was going there because my grandma had died. And here come the water works. Now look, I don't cry very often but when I do let me tell you, I cry. Loudly. Like a schoolgirl. and I huff and puff and sob and look like a fool.
I get out of my car and I'm completely wrapped up in my own head and I walk into the church.
Oh my. Imagine my surprise when there is a casket at the front of the church and tons of mourners in the pews. A little shocked I stepped back for a moment. Then I thought "how perfect is this? I can cry like crazy and nobody will notice because they are sad too. This is awesome."
I sat in the very last pew all by myself just sobbing away. At one point I compose myself a bit and decide to listen to this dead person's service. You know, take some of it in.
And I hear...
"Santos Difuentos, nos hemos reunido hoy aqui para llorar la muerte de Delores" Then a lot of rambling with the ocassional "de Jesus" and "Delores" and more "de Jesus" and so on and so forth.
Now I realize that I was sitting in church but honest to God the words that went through my head were "oh fuck. These people are not white, I am not Mexican and there is no way that I can be inconspicuous. and now that these people are headed my way, casket first, there is no chance of escape."
And here they come. First came poor old dead Delores (may she rest in peace whoever she was) and then one by one by one by one hundred, the people came marching down the aisle. Not a one of them spoke English and every single one of them looked at me and not one of them could figure out who in the hell I was or why I was so sad to have lost Delores.
I am sure that what was going through their heads was "who the hell is this young white girl and why the hell is she so upset about old great grandma Delores? What kind of double life did old great grandma Delores have that this young white girl would be so clearly torn to pieces like this? Who is this girl???????" Of course none of them asked me and since none of them seemed to speak English I thought it best not to try and explain. I think there still has to be one or two of those folks who still to this day wonder who the hell I was and why I was so upset.
I left that church a complete wreck and found absolutely no humor in any of this. It wasn't until I talked to my Mother on the phone later that night (she was in Virginia) that I got the humor in it all. As I told my tragic story of Delores, she just laughed her ass off and told me that this was going to make a good story and one day I would laugh. Mom was right. Looking back at the death of both Grandma and Delores, I have a really great funeral story to tell and an embedded memory of the day that Grandma was buried. Thank you Delores for sharing your funeral with me and Grandma.

Hurt Feelings

2010-07-27T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I said I was going to blog and so here I am. I have some fun life events but right now I want to just get this off of my chest. I have told the unedited version to a couple of people but I am going to do sort of an abridged version here.
A couple of weeks ago I was hurt badly by someone who I had considered to be like family to me. We got into a heated argument and the end result was she went to a place that friends shouldn't go. She took one of my biggest insecurities and threw it in my face. As a result I am left unsure of what to do about it.
We have been friends for over 20 years and she happens to be my ex, Michelle's ex and Michelle's lifelong bestfriend. Talk about the Gays of our Lives. *grin* All of that aside, over the years she has grown to be what Michelle and I both would consider to be family. She has very little family and we have always said that when her family is gone we will share our family with her.
So she does this extremely hurtful thing to me and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to be adult about it but I also want to make sure that I stand up for myself. I can't exactly just walk away from our friendship because she is Michelle's best friend and I in NO way want Michelle to feel uncomfortable nor do I want her to lose her friend. Michelle shouldn't have to choose between the two of us so cutting her out of my life is not an option. I don't even secretly want that.
Maybe time will heal this, I don't know. I do know that I can no longer trust her, ever, because she went to a place where I do not think friends should go if they are really friends. Some things should be sacred between friends even in arguments and she broke that trust forever. I guess I will just have to wait and see how I feel the next time we are around each other in person.
It really sucks to lose someone who you thought was one of your closest friends. :(

Blog blog, bloggity blog

2010-07-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently started a blog and I had the pleasure of reading it start to finish this week. It really reminded me of how much I used to blog and how much I loved it and how much I miss it. *sigh* If I only had the time that I used to have. When I took my new job almost two years ago it cut out about 5-6 hours of computer time for me. Remember the good old days when I had nothing to do at work but to hang out on the computer with my friends and spend so much more time at the places where I met and got to know so many people? I really miss those days.
I would really like to put more effort into blogging again. For the most part many have stopped coming here to my blog because I hardly ever update, so what's the point of coming here.
I've had so many different things that I have wanted to blog about. Mostly funny stories that I remember from time to time of things that have happened in my life.
My Mom always tells me that I should write a book of my funny stories. I tell her that most of my funny happenings in life come across so much better in verbal form than they do in written form. (Am I the only Giants fan who doesn't so much care for the orange outfits and Orange Fridays? Ooops, sorry, the baseball game is on and I got sidetracked.)
I am so easily sidetracked. *shakes head*
In any event, I would like to get back to blogging. I need to figure out a starting point and what I want to talk about when re-entering the blog world.
Hmmm, maybe I just did.

RIP Poopy Gump Attard-Wykoff

2010-01-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

So we had to give our baby to heaven today.

Poopy came to us because we had just lost our dog. Actually, Poopy was supposed to go to Michelle's grandparents but she wasn't boxed trained so they didn't want her. Since we had just lost our dog (really Michelle's dog since we had only been together for 6 months. But she was my doggy too because Michelle and I lived together for a year before we got together and CC, the dog, was only 3 when she got hit by a car) Anyhow...We kept Poopy. I picked her up from my Mom's friend's house because she had one last kitten to get rid of. She spent the entire ride home attached to my chest. Not easy when you drive a sick shift.

She was the most beautiful kitten I have ever seen in my life. On the outside. Inside she was the meanest little terd on the planet. LOL. If you walked within feet of her when she was eating she would full on attack you. She looked like a mad dog, foam at the mouth and all. She was half calico and had more than one loose nut in the head. We called her cocaine kitty when she was young because she would literally bounce off the walls. She would also attack Shug (our other cat who lived to be 20). Shug hated her.

Poopy has provided so many laughs over the years. From the two times she flew off of the second story balcony to the two times she ran right through the screen door knocking it off it's track. All of her "mad dog" episodes. She also would howl like a wolf. I have no clue what the neighbors must have thought we were doing to her but she would just go outside and let out the horrific howls. It was her strange way of saying she was happy. Little weirdo.

Her birth name was BJ but she was such a terd that she would only answer to Poopy. So fitting.

She was also the laziest and dirtiest cat you could have ever imagined. I don't think once in her 17 1/2 years did she ever cover anything in the catbox. She would just shit and walk away. LOL. I might not miss that now that she is gone. She also refused to to clean herself. She looked like something that was left out in a hurricane. She had beautiful fur and colors but nobody would know it because she always looked like Rasta kitty. We had to start shaving her once a year just to get the knots out of her fur. I might miss that a little bit because we would laugh when she started out embarrassed and then would figure out after a couple of days that it made her pretty again.

6 months ago she got really quite sick and we took her to the vet. He said that she had two tumors. One on her lung and one on her kidney. He said she would not survive surgery and that we should just take her home. He said it could be days weeks or months. He was surprised today when he brought her in that she had made it 6 months.

We brought her in and each of us held her and hugged her and told her that we loved her. Like I did with Shug, I had to send her out of the world in the same manner that I let her into my heart in this world. With Shug, I didn't like her at first and then one night she climbed up on the bed and put her head in the palm of my hand and let out a sigh. From that moment on I fell in love with Shug. So when we had to put Shug down, I put her head in the palm of my hand until her soul left this world. So with Poopy, I put her on my chest until it was time. At that point the vet had to put her on the table. As soon as he told us her heart had beat for the last time, I picked her up and held her to my chest. So that when her soul left this world, her shell was where it was when I fell in love with her.

Where in the world is Mazatlan, Mexico?

2009-11-18T18:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am just forewarning you that this post is going to be long and boring. Mostly because I am writing it as a journal entry for myself as a memento of my trip to Mexico. So if you get bored reading this, you can't say I didn't tell you so. Also, if you are reading this it means that you know me so don't be surprised when I end up going off on tangents not even related to what I might have been talking about in the previous sentence. But no worries, I eventually get back on track.

Day 1: Out in the mist I could see the gorillas...Oh wait, I'm not Jane Goodall. Carry on. Day One: We got up early, we flew, we landed. Fast forward...
After all 80 of us were checked in to the hotel we had a little reception before going to dinner. It was a mixer of sorts so that we could mingle with the people with whom we were going to spend the 5 days. Normally I like to cling onto the people who I know best but Michelle *rolls eyes* is one of THOSE people. You know, a people person, so she made us mingle with unknowns *shudder*. Immediately this other lesbian couple spotted us and like flies to sh, well you know what I mean, they came right up and decided that we would forever be BFF's. At least for the trip. In their defense I know it was awkward for them to be around a bunch of strangers not knowing if people were gay friendly. After all, this was mostly made up of Rotarians and it can be quite daunting. So I put on my friendly face. *rolls eyes again* Look, I'm barely into day one and I have already taken up most of the bandwidth allowed on Blogger. I told ya so.
Night one we ALL went to Ernie Tomatoes for dinner. It's a touristy restaurant in the middle of the Gold Zone (El Centro for tourists in Mazatlan). They play the YMCA and the Macarena and all the white folks get drunk and dance poorly. It's really a good time. I had Kahlua shrimp. Yuck. Don't order that. Ever. My Mom got the Swedish shrimp and that was wonderful. Many of us got a good buzz on that night. My Dad was having a rather wonderful time if ya know what I mean. He doesn't do modern dance any favors but God bless him he has fun. Actually that could be said for just about most people there. Except me. I could join the modern dance conservatory when I drunk dance. It's beautiful stuff. Or not.
Day two: Day two was the day that we were all going out to different schools in the area and the day that we did the city to city proclamation. I'm still not entirely sure what was being proclaimed but it was double long because it was all done in English and then in Spanish and then in English and then in Spanish. Lather, rinse, repeat for the next two hours. In the end my Dad got the key to the city of Mazatlan given to him by the Mayor and the Mayor of Maz. got a Paul Harris Fellowship award from the Foster City Rotarians. (It's a privilege in the Rotary world. The highlight of this for me was that I got to pee in the Mayor's personal bathroom at City Hall. It took everything I had not to take a picture of the moment. My Dad seems to save me in desperate pee moments. I was once allowed to use the bathroom on the 4Th of July at city hall in Foster City because I happened to ask the right fireman. I told him that I never use my Dad's name for gain but I really had to pee and would appreciate him letting me use city hall. As it turns out, my Dad had saved his life in a house fire and he owed him one. Too bad for my Dad that the payback was letting his kid pee in city hall because of long lines at the portapotties. Ooop, got off course. The mayor and his wife are considered rock stars in Mazatlan. The people line the streets to see them and light up as soon as they see them. I have to say that I really am one of those people who believes that ALL of the Mexican government is corrupt and not to be trusted. Well I feel differently after meeting Jorge and Perla. They were the kindest and most down to earth people ever. They honestly and truly care about people and their city. They were gracious beyond words. They had cleared their calendars for the entire week in order to spend time with those of us that came. They took the time to meet and thank each of us personally and bought each of us personalized gifts. Oh wait, I will save that part for down there. *points to later in the journal
After the proclamation ceremonies we over we were heading off to visit area schools.

We went to a school that close friends of our family had sponsored. In a nutshell, that means that they donated money that allowed these children to have a real bathroom, school supplies, chairs and such. When we arrived all of the children were out in the yard dancing and singing. This particular school had, oh crap I already forgot, I think 45 students? They were grade 1-6 and there were three classrooms. Very barren. Each student did have a desk or a chair where they could sit but there was not much more in the classrooms. The kids looked at us with a mixture of excitement and confusion. They LOVE to have their picture taken. You take a picture of them and then show it back to them and they get super excited and put on the biggest smiles. They are so proud to see themselves on the camera. These children are the most well behaved kids ever on earth. There are two teachers for three classrooms. You do the math. Here in the US if there was not a teacher in the classroom for any amount of time the kids would have figured out how to make a bomb out of bubblegum and paperclips and would have at least one kid hanging from their underwear on the wall. Not in Mexico. When the teachers were not in the classroom the children were quiet and well behaved or calmly interacted with each other waiting for the teacher to come back.
When we went into a room, the superintendent(who traveled with us) made all of the children stand up and introduce themselves. Some hammed it up and others were very shy. Ohhh, prior to going to the school we went to Home Depot because the school needed paint and painting supplies to make the school purtier. We all pitched in and paid for all of the stuff and brought it to them. We also brought school supplies that we had bought here in the US. Trust me, these schools need the donations. They have the absolute bare minimum when it comes to supplies. Our ride to the school was in the back of a pickup truck (it did have bench seats for us). May I just say that there are NOOOOOO rules of the road in Mexico. I decided to just pretend I was on a ride at Disneyland so I wouldn't worry about dying a horrible death on the two lane "freeway" of Mexico. There will be more about the lack of road rules later.
Oh, so when we got to the school they were still building the bathrooms that they previously didn't have. Really, that is how bad it is in parts of Mexico. Children don't have bathrooms at their school. *sigh* But again, what a bunch of well behaved, wonderful little children they were.
The school itself is not in great shape. There are three buildings: The bathroom is one and then one building had two classrooms and the other had one plus the teachers room. All in all the entire school takes up about as much room as a 7-11 store and it's parking lot. Pretty darn small. It had no playground equipment. At break time the children just play in the courtyard area either kicking balls or dancing or chasing each other around. There were some balls to kick around but otherwise that was pretty much it.
After the adventures in babysitting we got some free time. We went down to the beach and drank a few brewskies and swam in the ocean. I love to swim in the ocean if for nothing else it is a great exfoliating experience. And also, let's be honest, who doesn't love a good saltwater enema now and again? I love taking on the big waves coming at me so usually I end up with sand in every orifice and of course a great exfoliated facial. It makes me feel like a 13 year old boy, with a good complexion of course. Oh wait, everything makes me think that. Anyhow, it was fun to play in the ocean.
That night we went to a local sports bar called The Dugout. They had on the 49ers/Bears game on the HD tv. About 20 of us hung out there watching the game. We then went to dinner at a place called Casa Country. It is the Mexican version of a country bar and restaurant. Another night of the YMCA and the Macarena and white people dancing poorly except for me. Again, I really am a fantastic dancer. Or not. Well, maybe a little bit good if I do say so myself. Or not.

Day Three: Day three was orphanage day. Oh, and a park dedication ceremony. Mayor Jorge was supposed to be there for this but he had to go to Mexico City to help try and get money for hurricane victims. See what a wonderful man he is? Anyhow, this ceremony really wasn't all that much fun. It was hot out and it was a long ceremony which was interpreted in both English and Spanish and English and Spanish, lather, rinse, repeat.
The orphanage was not as emotional as I thought it was going to be. Dad talks about how moving it was when he went and that made me want to go. We apparently went to two different ones because the one he went to was in horrible shape and sad and the children clung to him. The one that we went to was in pretty good shape and the children mostly seemed happy. One of the older girls gave us a tour of the place and she was happy and smiling and wonderful. she spoke matter of factly about not having any family. It was almost as if she didn't realize that bad things had happened in her life. Everybody there considers everybody there to be family. Except they are polite to one another and like helping each other and play together. Nicely. :)
They were happy to see us and gathered around when we first got there. Ohhh, that reminds me of that bitch, Jan or Janice or whatever her stupid name was. Back story...
There was a man in Rotary with my Dad and we will call him Bob. We will call him that because that is was his name. One day Bob went on vacation and he came back a year later as Leanne. *pause for dramatic effect* Leanne and her lesbian lover...*pause to let you wrap your head around that* were on this trip with us. They were the ones who brought the uberdykes (as Martha referred to them). They were all just very strange people. Very, very strange. so we get to the orphanage and everybody piled the goods that we had brought in a pile. Greg asked us all to grab something and bring it inside. I just picked up the two bags closest to me and started to walk and that bitch Jan or Janice or whatever walked up to me, grabbed the bags out of my hand and said "I brought those" and walked away. WTF??? Bitch, I'm not trying to steal your stupid thunder, I'm trying to help out. For one moment before reminding myself that I am here representing the Rotary and I am at an orphanage surrounded by children, I wanted to kick her in her cooch and call her turdbrain. Where was I? Oh, so when we got there the kids all surrounded us and were so happy when we gave them candy and soccer balls and soccer uniforms and stuffed animals. I ended up not really feeling sorry for these kids because they seemed to have it pretty damn good compared to some of the other stuff I have seen down there.
After the orphanage we got to go back to the hotel and spend time at the beach again. More exfoliating. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. *shakes sand out of bathing suit*
That night we wet to Senor Frogs for dinner. We were all kind of disappointed. the last time we were in Mazatlan the SF was located more towards downtown and it was smaller and all one level and it made it a bit more intimate. as intimate as you can be at a SF. They were the originators in Mazatlan of the Ymca, the Macarena and white people dancing poorly. Except for me. Or not. One of the things that makes SF fun is being able to watch other parties going on and even join in. It's fun to get on the stage and everybody dances. Anyhow, the new one is now split level, no balloon hats, no other parties around. The service was horrible, the food was mediocre and the entertainment sorely lacked. Goodnight.

Day four: Wheelchair distribution day and the purpose of the trip.
We started the morning by taking buses to a distribution center. Which was a basketball court, with cement stands to sit on and it was covered by a permanent structure. It is their version of a small stadium. When we got there, there were a whole lot of people sitting in Patio type chairs on center court. to the side were the boxes with the wheelchairs in them. People who are hand picked by Mayor Jorge and his wife and have the means to get to the stadium do so. They are given a number which is the size of the wheelchair that they will receive. There were ceremonies in English and Spanish and English and Spanish, lather, rinse, repeat. Mexican officials are VERY big on ceremonies and speeches. One of the speeches was given by a little girl in a wheelchair and she spoke directly to Mayor's wife Perla. Back story...History is that the mayor's wife job is to head the DIF. This is the US's version of Social Services. Normally it is just a title and nothing more. But Miss Perla is so loving and giving and caring that she decided she would not be director just by name. She is very, very involved. She gets up every morning and goes to work at the DIF office and out into people's homes and involves children in their lives. They also have 5 children of their own.
Anyhow, this little girl gave her speech looking directly at Perla. Perla was crying, most of the dignitaries were crying and most of the Rotary was crying. It was during her speech that I had felt something crawling on my face. As dignified as I can be about something crawling on me, I lightly swatted at my face and realized that it was not a bug but tears. Without me even knowing it this little girl had brought me to tears. After the speeches came assembly time. All of us ran to the chairs and started to put them together. Even Elaine Pitts the coolest 92 year old woman you could ever meet. she is a member of the rotary club and insisted on taking part in every single event. Including assembly and later going out to homes. It took about a half hour for all of us to get the chair assembled. At this point we went out into the audience and talked to the recipients and got their stories. Most of the cases came back to lack of good medical care which is why these people need the chairs. Whether it was a lack of help as children with polio or birth defects or lack of care as an adult for ulcers on their feet or diabetes or other illnesses or old age. As we talked to people we would take their number, go get them a chair that would forever be theirs, bring it to them and then assist in putting them in their new mobility. there is nothing like helping to put someone into a wheelchair so that they can now feel as if they are a productive part of the world. Imagine being stuck in your house with no use of your legs. None at all. Imagine having to rely on other people to help you get around. To go to the bathroom. To go outside. To just get off of the couch. While I agree that there are weekends when the couch is my best friend, I in no way want to have to rely on anyone and everyone to assist me every time I wanted to leave the couch. So let that sink in for a minute and then imagine getting to be the person who hands you a wheelchair so that you can get around on your own. I admit selfishly that it felt great to be that person.
After the center we were split up into 10 groups of 8 people to drive out to remote homes to deliver chairs to people who were picked by Mayor Jorge and Miss Perla and approved by the DIF.
Oh god, before leaving I had to pee. I will never complain about a gas station bathroom again. Never. The center had bathrooms and lucky for me I had gotten good ole aunt flow (happy, happy, joy, joy when you are in a 3rd world country). I went into a stall and had to look for the garbage can because in Mexican public bathrooms they don't flush toilet paper, or other girly bathroom products for that matter. So there I am squatting (dude, I don't sit on public toilets in the US, there is zero chance of me doing so in Mexico), I look about 3 feet in front of me and there is a grandaddy cockroach the size of a small car staring at me. Glaring actually. No, really more like laughing at me. I swear I heard it say "girl, you are in the squat with your pants down and I have your chicken ass trapped here." My belly hurts just talking about this. Needless to say it was kind and did not eat me for lunch.
Out to the homes...Our group had the longest route of all of the groups. We also left last. Bad scheduling people. Most of the homes were about 30 minutes off of the paved road. many of the dirt paths into these villages are barely drivable. Oh, this is where I mention again the lack of road rules. Also, Martin, our driver, looooved to dance. Mexicans dance with their hands. he is driving. Look ma, no hands. Oh fer heck Martin drive with your hands ON THE WHEEL, and WATCH OUT FOR THAT COW. *deep breath* Martin was frightening. He very rarely watched the road and never looked behind him after hitting something or finding the deepest hole on the road.
The first couple of houses were busts as far as the wheelchair part. The first place was a woman who would not let anybody but her sister touch her and unfortunately her sister wasn't home. We left the chair and went on our way. But we did give out clothes and candy to the children of the neighborhood. The next house was also a bust. They lady was at the doctor and wasn't home. we left the chair with who we think was the sheriff. He said he was the sheriff and the people around said he was. He wore flip flops and shorts and polo-ish shirt but didn't have a gun or a badge. We don't need no stinkin badges. *giggle*.
The next house was a lady who knew we were coming. She had been in bed for 6 months with bleeding ulcers on her feet. Since she hadn't been out of bed, she had not been outside in 6 months either. When we got their she was so happy to see us. She told us that she knew we were coming and she got up early and had her family bathe her and make her pretty for us. She asked us if she looked pretty and we all smiled hugely and told her that she was beautiful. She was the most grateful and happy woman. We then wheeled her out of her front door and into her front yard. yay!!!!
The next place was a woman who was both physically and mentally handicapped. She was pretty frightened by our presence and had a mini meltdown. Michelle offered her some candy and when she understood what candy was she got super happy. At that time a few of us walked away because she was overwhelmed by how many people there were. Those of us closest to the road walked back to the car so the others could give her the chair.
The 5th house was about an hour away and all on dirt paths. When we got there the lady told us her story. she had injured her back and has trouble getting around and can't get into the "city" for her doctor's appointments because she isn't mobile enough. She thanked us a million times for caring about her and for worrying about her and for helping her. Her porch area was very small and there were a lot of us so I didn't get to spend much time with her. Also, unfortunately the day had not gone totally by plan and it was getting dark and we needed to get back to our people. We were already about an hour later than we should have been so we didn't spend as much time at her house.
These houses are huts. They are generally one or two rooms total and house numerous people. Imagine living a space about the size of an average living room and doing so with 7 or 8 other people. Imagine your toilet being a pot over in the corner of that room. The best way I can describe the neighborhoods is to compare them to the old west but not as luxurious. If you can imagine. We really are quite lucky to live the way that we do here in the United States. I would never wish to live like these people.
After we got back we had to hurry because we were two and a half hours later than we were expected to be. We got to go to a fireworks show on the beach and then the Mayor's Fiesta. Mayor Jorge and Miss Perla had rented out an entire restaurant for us and treated us to dinner and more ceremonies. It was at the after dinner ceremonies that we got our gifts. We each got a Mazatlan baseball hat with our names embroidered on the side. We also each got a Mazatlan pen and some form of a feather. The feather means a great deal to the people of Maztlan and so to give that as a gift is regarded as something special. The women were given feather earrings and I'm not sure what the men got. We were also each presented a certificate of gratitude from the Mayor, the city council and the Mexican Rotary Club. This was basically a reception line where we got to shake hands, hug and cheek kiss Mayor Jorge, Miss Perla, the President of the Mexican Rotary and a couple of other very important people. And this ended all of the official business.
Sunday we got to do a little bit of shopping and then it was off to home...
The things I am taking from this trip: These people really have nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing. Barely a pot to piss in and when they do that pot is many times in the corner of their living space. They haave all the reasons in the world to complain and in most cases they do not. It doesn't mean that my problems aren't worthy and it doesn't mean that I don't have the right to piss and moan but I need to remember this trip, keep things in perspective and think about what I am complaining about. I hope I can retain that perspective. I also learned about the mutual value that goes with doing charity. Not just writing a check but actually getting involved and doing hands on type of charity. Writing a check is nice but being able to interact with the people who you are helping is priceless. I was not going to push Michelle into doing this again if she didn't want to. I wanted to do this at least once for the experience and if we didn't do it again I would be fine. But Michelle is the one who said she wanted to go again next year and that thrills me. If money and time allow, we will be doing this again next year. It feels wonderful to be able to make a change in people's lives.
I know there are things that I am leaving out and will later remember. So I imagine that I will be adding "P.S." things as I remember them. I also think that I will do a separate post with pictures. Trying to position them in this post through Blogger would just be a huge headache.
And so, like sands through the swimsuit, these are the days of our lives...
Pictures are below this post.

Random pictures from Mexico

2009-11-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

Here are some randoms. You can see the kinds of conditions these people live in. The first picture is the front porch of a house we visited. The picture with the pots and pans was someone's kitchen. The man in yellow next to a wheelchair was the sheriff that I talked about. The picture of the girl in the wheelchair is the one who had everybody in tears. The picture of the two men in blue shirts and the man and woman in white shirts is my Dad (far right) the chief of police of Foster City and Mayor Jorge and Miss Perla. Also a group picture of all of the volunteers.

Wheelchair Day

2009-11-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

Orphans and Dignitaries

2009-11-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

These are randoms of the orphans and the ceremony at the Mayor's office. The group picture is the dedication ceremony of the ambulances and the Proclamation ceremony. The picture in an office with all of the flowers is of my Dad, Mayor Jorge and First Lady Perla.

Mexico pictures

2009-11-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

These are some random pictures of two of the schools. You can see what they used as a bathroom at one of the schools. The other school where we went had recently added a modern bathroom for the children. Stupid Blogger isn't letting me caption each photo one by one. So below is us in the back of the truck that took us to schools and then pictures from the first night at Ernie Tomatoes.

Another update.

2009-06-19T18:13:00.001-07:00

Okay, so this isn't so much an update as it is Spam. My Mom sings in The Bay Area Showcase, which is a Sweet Adelines group out of San Jose, CA. They have ranked both Nationally and Internationally. Anyhow, my Mom asked me to ask my friends and so here I am.

I'm pimping my Mom's chorus...Go do this. Now!! :) 1. Please go to this site: http://foreverplaid.fathomevents.com/ 2. Scroll down to *Bay Area Showcase is Crazy 'Bout Ya Baby*. 3. Watch our video. 4. Vote yes! You can vote once a day! 5. The last day of voting is Monday, June 22! 6. Send this link to ALL your friends and ask them to vote for us! vote early and oftenFathom Entertainment presents - Forever Plaid 20th Anniversary Special
Source: foreverplaid.fathomevents.com
Frankie, Sparky, Smudge and Jinx have finally made it tothe BIG screen, bringing with them the beautiful harmoniesand delightful patter of the beloved original stage production

Blogger is still here?

2009-06-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

I'm watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here. Trainwreck. I can't wait for Big Brother to start.
Swami finally gave in and got a Facebook. Now we just need to get Augie onboard.
Michelle won the quilt drawing in Breezy's 3Day quilt contest. Wooot. Lucky is what that girl is. Have you donated for the 3Day? If not we have Oters and Bloggers doing the walk, you should donate to them. *grin*
I feel like I might be coming down with a cold. *pout*
This was a small update since I have been getting ragged about not updating. I'm not feeling well so maybe I will update more later.

For Breezy

2009-04-18T10:00:00.001-07:00

I hardyly ever even come here anymore but since Breezy keeps hinting...
I spend most of my time at Facebook these days. Rarely at OT and rarely here.
Pooper was arrested and jailed on a felony. However he made bail and has a March 5th court date. We'll see what happens.
On the job front they let the other estimator go a couple of weeks ago. He had been there for almost four years but from what I understand they are in a clean house mode right now and they let him go because they have some sort of faith in my abilities. LOL crazy people.
I'm still working with a trainer at the gym. I need to talk to her about us really stepping it up a notch. That and I need to get on a better food plan. I have not been great with that.
Not much else is happening. I work most of the time, go to the gyn after work, do my chores and fart around on Facebook. :)

Lucky Me

2009-03-03T06:18:00.001-08:00

I just found out that the company I left in October is closing it's doors for good in two weeks. Holy crap did I ever have good timing this time around. *wipes brow*

Rush Limbaugh

2009-03-01T07:10:00.001-08:00

Just proved what I said to my Mom last week. That the extreme right is going to try and sabotage the Obama administration. What a fucking disgrace from a bunch of sore losers. And they call US anti-American? As much as I hate Bush I would have never wanted to see our entire country fail as a result of him being in office. As much as I hated him I wanted him to succeed because it was better for all of us. For this fucking moron to preach that he wants Obama to fail is the same as saying that he wants our country to fail. I say try the bastard for treason. What an irresponsible pile of shit Rush Limbaugh is. And anyone who listens to him and believes in him is just a stupid piece of shit traitor like him. Good job, moron. Preaching to your minions that you want the President to fail. I can only hope that your heart does the same.

PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!

2009-02-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day, Michelle and I went to the 4th annual V-Day pillow fight at Justin Herman plaza in San Francisco. The plaza is directly across the street from the Ferry Building Clock tower. When the clock on the ferry building strikes 6, the pillow fight begins. *snort*

Thousands of strangers stuffed into the plaza just start going at it. It's the funniest thing you could ever see and we are so glad that we took part. We planon doing this every year. I ended up with an injured hand from a guy who was swinging at the same time that I was but otherwise we were both unscathed.

If you ever get the chance to participate in a public pillow fight, you just have to do it. What fun.

Flexes muscles

2009-01-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

Ouch. *unflexes*
So Michelle and I joined a gym. It's a month to month deal so we aren't stuck in some long term deal. We had a freebie session with personal trainers tonight and fuckinA I have muscles that I didn't know existed. She kicked my damn ass. So we signed up for 6 more sessions each plus they are throwing in another freebie.
I have Celeste and Michelle has Brian. And they would like to rotate every other session so that we both get to be trained by two completely different styles of workouts. Yikes. What have I done?
I had my first bad stressful day at work today. I'll get over it but I was irritated. Related, the 27th is the end of my work probation. 3 months. I chatted with the boss and everything is working out and so it looks like I am there and part of them now.
Wii Music. Meh. I really wanted it but don't care too much for it.
I feel like I have PMS but the timing isn't right for PMS. I'm feeling all sensitive and whiney. *rolls eyes* It's sooooo annoying.
*flounces off to find something to whine about*

I hardly update anymore :(

2009-01-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

With my new work schedule and with how busy I am at work it seems I never get to update anymore. Not that there is a ton to update. Really there isn't anything to update.
I still love my job. I hate that it takes me away from my play time though. That really bums me out. I don't get the time to hit every single blog every single day anymore. That bums me because I love keeping up to date with my friends. I hate feeling out of the loop.
I impressed my boss yesterday. *proud grin* He came in and was making some suggestions to me and Fred the Republican on ways to cut back on our prices. He made this one suggestion and I intervened and suggested an even better way. The cool thing is that what we were talking about was a very technical, industry specific topic and not something that generally falls under my job description. He was thrilled with my suggestion and told me to keep up that kind of thinking and that that's the kind of employee that he is looking for. Yay me!!! He also told us that he has included me in a certain incentive program that he has implemented. Another yay me!!!
Forget the substantial raise by taking this job, the pats on the back and the general feeling that I am a valuable employee is meaning sooooo much more to me right now. I know that what I do isn't curing cancer or anything but I'm feeling important and creative and productive again. It's nice.
*poot*

A conversation

2008-12-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

Michelle: I taped the Britney birthday party
Me: Why would you do that?
Michelle: I love Britney.
Me: The only people who should love Britney are 11 year old girls and gay men.
Michelle: Well I'm a gay woman and my wife is an 11 year old boy. So I love Britney.

Thank You

2008-11-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

I've had that last post about a bigot up for awhile and it's time to drop him to a lower position.
I finally have had some time to scan the blogs and such and it is time to have a more positive post. As I browsed, I noticed that a lot of peeps have commented about their disgust with the anti gay sentiment in the world.
I hope you all know that that's what keeps us (gays) going. It hurts to have a lot of the world against us but what keeps us going is knowing that our loved ones support us and support equality and do not support the way that we are treatd by other people.
Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for speaking out. Thank you for being. It makes a world of difference in our lives. If all I ever heard and read was disdain for my lifestyle I'm not sure that I would be able to find life worth living. It's the support of friends and family that allows me to continue my journey in life. You all inspire me. And I thank you.

p.s. I do understand that it goes far beyond just supporting me and gays. I understand that it is about your hearts finding that discrimination in any form is icky and wrong. But for now it is the "gay lifestyle" that is being attacked and it is the "gay lifestyle" that ya'll are defending. Thank you for being equalitist.<--is that a word? It should be.

I love this blog

2008-11-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

If you want to see true and real bigotry, you gotta go here. He even references gay marriage as being the same as marrying children and animals. I love the ignorance. I used to get mad at his blog. Now I go there and read because he really does make me laugh. Gays wanting to marry is no different than marrying your dog. *snort* Classic. LMAO
http://cygsphere.blogspot.com/

Randomness

2008-11-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

Edited to ad this awesome picture from the rally/protest that we attended today. I asked this little girl's mother if it was okay for me to take the picture and post it and she said an absolute yes.

I'm lazy. so I won't be sending a copy of my last post anywhere. I felt better getting it out. But as MM showed it to her friend Kelly, feel free to pass it along to anyone if you feel like it. :)

I can't sign on to OT. I can not remember my password and for some reason my auto-fill-in didn't auto-fill-in. So I can't sign in. I sent a request for my password through the sign in page but Webby hasn't gotten back to me, I haven't received my password or password hint or anything. Breezy said that if I don't receive it by the time regular OT is up again she will contact Bebo for me. I don't like not being able to post.

Michelle and I are going to be gay protesters tomorrow. We are going to the "Join the impact, fight the H8" protest tomorrow. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=32251834674
It's time to become proactive rather than being passive and just pissing and moaning at home. This is OUR cause. We can't complain about it if we aren't actually going to do anything. This may not be earth shattering but at least we are getting off our asses and going to a gathering for our cause. It's a start.

My job is still awesome. More and more I come out of my shell a little bit more everyday. I'm starting to feel a little comfortable there.

I do miss my computer time though. Everyone said I would get used to it. I haven't. I like having unlimited access to my computer and my phone. Structure is and always has been difficult for me. I probably will never get used to it but I can live with it.

Our goal is to sell the house by the end of 2009. Someone shit on the side of the house again last night. I could get pissed but I'm not going to. It will do no good and will only cause me harm. So instead of getting pissed I am letting it motivate me. Motivate me to get my shit together over the next year so that we can sell the house and move, or (and this is preferable) just rent this place and buy elswhere. I'm tired of living in a place where people shit on private property. I've never liked the actual city where we live and was never thrilled that this is where we would live. But it was all we could afford when we wanted to buy. It has not been a bad starter house but we are both ready to move along. So the next year is about putting copias amounts of money onto my car and credit card so we can afford to move up even without selling this house. We won't move far. Probably just a couple of cities south.

That's all for now, I'm going to watch Oprah which is on the DVR. Today Melissa Etheridge was schedule to be on and talk about Prop 8. Our new cause. :)

A funny thought this morning

2008-11-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

I'm sure it has been brought up somewhere and already been discussed but it just popped up in my head this morning and made me giggle.
My guess is that most of the people who voted yes on proposition 8 are presumably conservatives. Aren't conservatives the ones who are sooooo strong in their stance on gun rights? The right to bear arms? Aren't they the ones running out buying up a ton of guns because they fear that Obama is going to take away their rights to have guns. (I know not all guns, that's not my point).
It will be interesting for me (and many people) to watch as these conservatives all have their panties in a wad if they have their right to bear arms stripped from them.
I am in NO way anti gun. I strongly believe that we all have the right to own a gun if we so choose. But I tell you this, since I do not own a gun and never will, it won't affect me. So I would vote for any proposition, and I will back any law that is going to take people's rights to own guns. Purely out of spite.
How sad is that. That the backers of Prop H8 have me in such a state that I want revenge and I want to sink to their level.
Because I am also taking joy in the fact that there is now a fight to strip the Mormon church of their tax free status. Hey!! dumb ass Mormons, guess what? You don't get to dabble in politics and then remain tax exempt. Looks like you possibly could have shot yourself in the foot on this one. I hope so. You deserve it.

To all of the straight white men who voted yes on H8: I can't blame you. You have never been oppressed so you don't know what it is like to 1) not have equal rights and 2) have your rights taken away. I forgive you.

To all of the straight white women who voted yes on H8: Have you forgotten that it wasn't until 1920 that YOU were given the right to vote? Have you forgotten about women's suffrage? Here is a link in case you have forgotten that you were oppressed at one time. http://tinyurl.com/yoe5nl
I have a little trouble forgiving you.

To All of the Jewish people who voted yes on H8: Auschwitz. I feel no need to say more. I have a lot of trouble forgiving you.

To all of the Black?African American people who voted yes on H8: How can you look at yourself in the mirror, stare back at your dark skin color and live with yourself. It was only 143 years ago that YOUR ancestors were slaves. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_United_States
Have you forgotten about Apartheid? The definition means "separation" or "being apart". HAVE YOU FUCKING FORGOTTEN?
How about the fact that it was just 1954 when you were allowed to marry white people. You notice that I did not say that blacks and whites were allowed to marry each other. That makes it seem as if both blacks and whites were victims. Bullshit. You, the person of color, was the victim. It says that YOU were ALLOWED to marry a white person.
Here is another link for you to see the battles that YOUR people have fought. http://www.duke.edu/~kac18/CritStudies/race.html
I say your people because you always use that argument when you fail. The white man is holding down your people. Take a look at my link to see what YOUR people have had to fight for. And 70% of you voted yes on the proposition. I say shame on you!!! Shame on you!!!

To our government: Where is our separation of church and state? Church wrote this bill, mostly funded this bill and endorsed it in writing to their members, telling them to back this proposition. Are you really going to let them get away with this?

A common complaint used from the anti gay activists is about how horrible gays are. We are sick and perverted. But the one I find most interesting is the argument about how horrible we are because we are so promiscuous. We sleep around with different people, never committing to one person etc. etc. Well, um, have you thought about how YOU are hindering us from that? You complain on one hand that we are promiscuous but on the other hand you are fighting against our right to join in marriage. You want to protect marriage? Write in a proposition that outlaws divorce. Divorce is more damaging to marriage than, well, gay marriage. Do ya get it?

As a gay woman all I ask for is equality. I want nothing special, nothing more than anybody else. Just equal. I don't want to feel divided or separate. I want all of us, black/white/other/gay/straight/other/Catholic/Jewish/other/male/female/other, to come together as a nation of human beings and respect each other.

But do you see all of that written up there? *points up to entire entry*, it's full of anger and hurt and it is YOUR behavior that has made feel separated from all of you. And I now feel that it is us against you. I resent that you have made me feel this way. (even though I take ownership of my feelings). I listed some groups of people, SEPARATELY, because those groups of people want it that way.

Whew!!

2008-11-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

Life sure is whizzing by these days. I can't believe I've been at the new job for two weeks. I'm finally starting to settle in. I must be doing okay because (waves to Breezy) they wouldn't have moved my trainer into his new position already if I wasn't. Starting Monday it will just be me (the liberal lesbo) and Fred (The Republican) sharing our department. We are losing Matt (the hip young Bohemian) from our department. Fred told me today that he doesn't really feel the need to check my stuff anymore unless I feel that I need him to because from what he has been checking has all been fine and without mistakes. Yay me!!!
I got my first paycheck. It was only one week's pay because I started in between pay periods. The funny thing? My one week of pay was almost as much as some of my two week checks at the old place. Salary may have it's perks over hourly. When given a choice I always ask for hourly but I may have to rethink my stand on salary. Not that it matters, I'm salary now like it or not.
More people talk to me now and others before who hardly acknowledged me are now even smiling and saying hello. I even had one chick try to set me up with her boyfriend's friend. *snort*
Now I need to get over the newness of my life's routine and start to get a groove. I can't run errands and do chores as easily after work now that I get home 2-3 hours later. That is a pain. We went grocery shopping after work last night and didn't get home until almost 7pm. Pooey.
Anyhow, I try to get around to everybody's blog. I don't always comment because sometimes I just have enough time to get around and read and run but I AM reading.

Week One

2008-10-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

I am soooo glad to have the first week under my belt. I really don't think I was mentally prepared for what that first day was going to bring. So yeah, day one sucked horribly.
But as many wise peeps advised me, it got a little bit better each and every day. By Friday I was starting to feel a bit more comfortable.
I'm not great at interacting with strangers so as the week went by and I got to know people a little bit more I was feeling more comfortable.
I am used to an open floorplan at work and I am used to a smaller office with just a few of us. Adapting to having different departments just for the office staff has been strange. The part of the office where I work houses about 10 people and it is separated by a partition. Through another door has about 7 or 8 more and upstairs is the sales force, HR and accounting. I share a large "cubicle" with two guys. One is about 55 years old from the East Coast, a diehard Republican (who voted for Obama), he is married and has two grown children in college. My other close coworker is a kid who is in his mid 20's, he's from Grand Rapids, MI (waves to Breezy), he is single and just has the most fun in life. I call him a young Bohemian. I came out to him on Friday. I knew it would be safe. He told me that this other guy in our department was gay, too. Whew, got that out and out of the way and I have no real worries anymore when people ask if I am married.
I found out that the company has a Christmas Party every year. It's been 25 years since I worked for a company that had a Christmas party. and I get to bring Michelle. I forget that working for larger companies like this affords such things as picnics and parties and gatherings that are company sponsored.
They are not as strict as the handbook says they are. But I really knew that already. We can get up and take breaks when we want just as long as we aren't abusing things. And even though I won't be able to play on OT during the day anymore, I'll be able to check my email here and there during the day once I get my email addy set up. They are also flexible about doctor's appointments and calling in sick and taking a little longer than an hour for lunch if needed every once in awhile.
I haven't figured out the neighborhood yet. My friend Sandra is going to come down at some point and take me out to lunch and show me around. She used to work one block up and she lives in the City so she is very familiar with the area. San Francisco is very interesting in that one block can be as hoity toity as they come and you can turn the corner and instantly be in a neighborhood where you don't want to be. I am at the foot of Potrero Hill. So it will be nice to have her show me where to and not to wander during lunch periods. :)
That's it. The people are nice and have made me feel comfortable. Twice this week the President of the company told me he was really happy to have me on board. THAT I am not used to.
Once I get my bearings on how to work their system, I think, I hope, this is going to be a good fit for me. If not, at least I am giving it my best. But I do hope that it is going to be a good fit. For week one, I am liking it so far.

Day Two

2008-10-28T07:13:00.001-07:00

I hope it's better than day one. Day one hit me like a brick wall. I felt lonely and isolated and like I didn't belong. I know I'll get used to it but I really didn't realize it was going to be as difficult as it was. I feel a little better today going in. At least day one is behind me. I'm just struggling to see where I am going to fit in. It was just such a change.
New people, new place, new hours, new rules. Lots of rules. So far I get no contact with the outside world except on my breaks and my lunch period. That was a hard adjustment.
Both times I called Michelle she was slammed at work and couldn't really talk. It was hard to not be able to have her call me back when her load lightened.
I think I can adjust to their systems and how they do things but it's going to take some time. I knew all the terminology and didn't look like an idiot when discussing work stuff so that was good.
We'll see how day two goes. I can't help feeling a little bit like I made a mistake. I know that feeling will go away in time. I just can't wait for that time. Because for now I am sad and lonely and not quite adjusting mentally the way that I thought. I think I'm not nearly as strong as I thought I have become.

This is it

2008-10-26T13:02:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow (Monday) I start my new adventure. There are so many good and bad that go with it and I am looking forward to getting it out of the way.
The bad: New place with new people. I will be the newbie. No Internet access so I will be cut off from the world that I have grown used to. Which means I won't be around here as much as I used to. *pout*. New hours. It's been years since I have worked an 8-5 day. That is going to be a huge adjustment. I am sure that around 2pm tomorrow I am going to hit a wall of depression because I would normally be going home then. I won't feel at home for a bit. I really do like comfortable so this is just waaaaay out of my comfort zone.
The positives: A decent paycheck for a change. That is going to be a huge welcome. It is also going to be nice going into to work everyday and not feeling as if I just dread getting out of bed everyday. Although I was comfortably numb at the last job it was really hindering me in my quest to build a healthier and happier life for myself and Michelle. This should be a huge boost. I really am looking forward to seeing how other printing companies operate. I can't for a minute believe that my last place is standard operating procedure. Based on speaking with other people in the industry, I am correct in this assumption and I am going to be thrilled about working for an organized company. Of course there are always office politics and good and bad everywhere you go but from what I understand I have really been held back by staying where I did. So I look forward to learning about how a company should really run.
*Deep breath* I get more and more nervous as the hours go by. I am sure I will be up way too early tomorrow because of my nerves. If so I will probably do a quick round on the computer, one last time until my new adventure starts and my new routines are established.
*sniff* I'm really going to miss seeing all of you during the day.

Yes, please do.

2008-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

Now I will know what businesses to solicit and what businesses not to solicit.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27352726/
It is regarding the same sex marriage ban going on in California. Those trying to outlaw marriage plan on outing those who have supported the opposition to the ban. Yes, please. Do so.

My loverly weekend

2008-10-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

I honestly can not say too much without giving away the secrets of others.
A midget a lesbian and a Republican walk into a redneck bar...
Kimmer is an awesome host. She drove much out of her way to come and get us and much out of her way to get rid of us. She even got up and made us coffee and breakfast every single day. Although one day she refused to feed us.
The weekend unfortunately was not long enough so we didn't have a whole lot of time. Mostly though, the weekend was about spending great quality time with some wonderful friends and that is exactly what we did.
So in a nutshell...
Boo and I are primed for The Amazing Race. We freaking rocked at the corn maze. Blew Kim and Breezy out of the maze completely.
Kimmer makes the yummiest hobo pies. I want those every single day.
Breezy and I rock at lawn balls.
Kimmer is the best pool partner on the planet.
Boo might be a lesbian and she is bringing sexy back.
Breezy talks waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
Boo can fly like a 747.
Kimmer is a bit dangerous on country roads.
Redneck bars do not serve margaritas but have Grape Smirnoff in abundance.
Snickers covered caramel apples are divine.
In all honesty, I got to spend time with Boo, Weltek and Breezy and it was a fantastic weekend. Kim really is a great host and all of them are great company. I had a wonderful time and wish it could have lasted a few more days.
Thank you Kim for putting us up in your house. Thank Chris as well. And thank you all for a wonderful weekend. It was a great sendoff for me into my new adventures in life. *smooooches*

Prop 8

2008-10-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

When this hideous proposition passes I will blame nobody but the Anti-Prop 8 people.
For those who don't know, Prop 8 is the proposition on the California ballot that will take away gay people's right to marry and will change the State Constitution to state that marriage can only be between a man and a woman.
The ads that they are airing in favor are full of hate and absolute lies. ABSOLUTE FUCKING LIES. They will NOT start teaching 2nd graders that boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls. They don't teach these things to 2nd graders. No churches will lose any tax benefits. Nothing changes. Check out the state of MA. That state has not fallen off the earth and burned in hell. They are not teaching a bunch of 2nd graders a bunch of stuff about gay sex. It's sickening that they are getting away with these smear tactics. And they are being funded and backed mostly by the Mormons. Sorry to say this about an entire group of people but I do not like the Mormons. Nothing about the LDS is good. A bunch of fuckers who at one point believed in and allowed multiple wives, some of whom were underage are now backing a Proposition to keep marriage traditional. I'm mad. Fuck you Mormons. Fuck you all. Do NOT come knocking on my door if you know what is good for your ears.
But worse yet are those on my side. They haven't raised enough money to run as many ads. and the one ad that they do run is so soft I could wipe my ass with it. Get tough please. It's sickening that you are letting those hate filled, bigoted hypocrits win this therefore taking away my right to marry. Because as of today, it is legal for gays to marry in California. I am pretty certain that come November, our rights are going to be taken away and we will be back at square one again.

Update on my friend

2008-10-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

Syren posted in that post and it reminded me of the new developments.
She got in touch with me two days ago telling me that her car had been repossesed. No warning, no letter, no phone call. Just went outside and her car wasn't there. She called the repo people and they said they sent letters but they came back as a bad address. Um, how did they find the car then?
Got more info on this GF who we have never met. She hasn't held a job in years. Mooching off of people. Now she has used L for every penny she has. They are $11000 behin in their rent and the owner of the house is about to lose the house. Neither have a job and now neither has a car.
Friend asked me if she could borrow more money to get her car out.
I hate that I have fallen back into my cynical ways because I do believe that I have softened over the past year. But honestly? Something is NOT sitting right with me here. I am now not sure when she is telling the truth or not and that has me concerned.
I told her that I couldn't loan her more money because it's not been an easy past year on me, either. Not as rough as her, I understand that, but I'm not a bank. Michelle is the one who is usually soft to these kinds of things and even she said no this time. She said she can't be L's unlimited supply of bailout. She feels a bit bad but she isn't willing to go even another dollar into the hole until she sees that L is making some sound decisions. L's main concern seems to be her love life right now and she is focused on how she and the GF can't get along and they always fight. And right now her concern is getting the GF's car out of impound.
Look, if L was focused on helping herself and not the GF I might be a little more willing here. But I feel like she is borrowing from us in order to financially support her GF. Who we have never met. So no more money is coming from us.
Look, I want to help my friends but at this point I don't feel that L is doing everything that she can to help herself. So at this point I don't think we would let her stay at our house. Too many things are not adding up for me and that leads me to not trust her at this time.
If I see that she is making steps to help herself and not the GF, then maybe we will revisit the idea of helping her out.
Thank you everybody for your input. I really thought about each and every word that all of you said. *smooch*

Light stuff

2008-10-12T12:07:00.000-07:00

I am making bbq shortribs in the crockpot today. Mmmmm, are they ready yet? *looks at clock* Damn, 7 more hours.
I am home alone watching football today. Michelle is playing bingo with her bingo dork friends.
I think I am ahead of this cold that I am trying to catch. Double doses of vitamins, Zicam every four hours, lots of liquids and cold medicine just in case.
I have re addicted myself to Pogo games. Grrrr. Why? Why do I even go there? Now I can't stop playing Poppit and Scrabble. Stop me before I never come back again.
The Raiders are losing miserably. Weeeeeee.
My new company prints for the Raiders. Not weeeeee. Hrmph.
I started a book, I am 10 pages in and I can already tell I don't care for the book. I've read the same 10 pages over and over for the past month. Time to give up.
Are my ribs ready yet???????

Would you let a friend be homeless?

2008-10-08T18:45:00.001-07:00

I'm not really sure what to do. I really hate to have other people's drama invade my home but at what point am I just being plain selfish?
We have a friend who we have known for *counts on fingers* 15 years. We used to spend a lot of time together. Vacations together, events together, all kinds of things together. Then time and distance made those things happen infrequently. We still kept in touch and would hook up at some point at least once a year. Always a message at Christmas and New Years and birthdays and stuff. So we stayed in touch but didn't remain extremely close.
Recently (4 months ago?) she and her girlfriend broke up and she has kind of bounced around here and there. Prior to the breakup she had been let go from her job due to no work. She has been trying constantly to get a new job. She has even applied at Starbucks and Taco bell and other fast food places but gets turned down for being over qualified or no longer hiring or whatever. It isn't as if she hasn't been trying. L is a good hard working person and is not someone I would call lazy or no good.
Three months ago she moved in with a new girlfriend.(she fulfills the typical lesbian stereotype of bringing your belongings on the second date) The GF has a four year old daughter. (this plays into the looong story) . Two months ago L called us in a panic and said her PG&E was going to be cut off and there was no food for the kid and she had to pay registration and she is flat broke is there any chance she could borrow $500. I said no but Michelle said yes. Payback day, L calls and says that she isn't bringing the cash to the concert we were going to together because it was too much cash to bring in to Oakland. I fully agree. She says she will put a check in the mail that day. No problem. Week goes by, no money. I text and she gave me an address which of course was not ours. She will resend it. Another week, no money. Up until this point she had been asking me about therapy and how it was working for me because she was thinking she needed it. She had been contacting me A LOT. I would spend up to two hours on the phone with her just talking about things. It didn't bother me, I felt like I was really helping her out. And I do still believe that I was.
Anyhow, on with my long boring story. She stopped contacting me. Stopped responding to phone calls, text messages and emails. Two weeks go by, still no response. Last week I finally lost my cool about it and made some threats to track her down through another mutual friend and her brother. I know she didn't want friend or brother involved. Finally I threatened to call the police because obviously someone had killed her because she would never do this to us. Well that worked. I got a text telling me she wasn't dead but she was humiliated because she lied and because she can't afford to pay us back at this moment. Fine. I told her it wasn't about the money it was about her ignoring me. She can pay back in payments whenever she has the money. We aren't hurting for it, we aren't missing it and I would rather us be out $500 of money that will just sit in an account than have her go hungry trying to pay it back.
L is going through some serious issues. Big time. She admits that she has pretty much hit rock bottom. She is still unemployed, her last unemployment check is in two weeks and she doesn't know if she can get an extension on it and to top things off all of the stress is taking it's toll. She has turned angry and is now taking it out verbally on the GF. GF is about to kick her out. During the time that she wasn't returning my calls, she spent a couple of nights sleeping in her car because she had nowhere to turn. (she has no family that can help. They are all drug addicts and alcoholics. She is neither)
She doesn't know why she keeps acting out to her GF and she feels she can't control her anger and temper. She knows that she has one foot out the door and is going to be homeless.
As I have said, L has been a good friend throughout the years and she is just going through a really hard time.
Do we offer to give her a place to stay for a couple of months? Or is that way too risky on our part. We have never done well with guests who have stayed more than a week or two so I know that it will wear on our nerves quickly. But do we put aside our small inconvenience for the sake of a friend who will end up sleeping in her car if we don't offer her a place? She has not asked and I don't know if she would. We have told her though that if GF kicks her out for a night or two again to call us and stay here. A night or two is one thing, a month or two is another.
What would You do?

Countdown begins

2008-10-06T13:21:00.001-07:00

In two weeks I will no longer be employed here after 13 years.
The next day I leave for my mini vacation.
The following Monday is my birthday and I start my new job.
Whew, what a month. :)

What a difference a year makes

2008-10-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

Whew, has it ever been a year. A year ago today I was on my way home from my trip to Canada with Breezy and Lightsy. A year ago today I was on my way home to a job that I hated and a wife who was about to leave me. I was returning to a very unsatisfactory life. A life where most days I didn't care if I even got up in the morning. I felt anger and resentment and boredom and a general feeling of an unsatisfactory life. I had emotionally disconnected myself from most people in my life even if I was in daily contact with them. I didn't see much hope and for the most part wanted to retreat back to the days when I numbed myself with drugs, booze and casual sex.
Today, one year later, I am frightened beyond any words that I can express. Today I gave my notice at a job that I have held for 13 years. Four of those years have been tolerable at best and miserable at worst. Today I took a step towards a new way of life in my career. I am both excited and scared.
Today, my sister in law gave birth to a baby boy. I can't tell you the range of happiness that I have gone through. The excitement of finally being allowed to talk about my new adventures with my coworkers and my friends and my family. And then the excitement of becoming an Auntie again. What a fresh new day today has been. I am not going into a lot of detail about why the birth is such a relief but let me just say that we are all relieved that both baby and Mom are healthy. *sigh of relief*
Today, a year later, Michelle and I are probably in the best place that we have been in a long, long time. We communicate better, we relate better, we love better, we get along better. We have re learned the art of respecting one another.
Coming home last year was terrible. I truly did not want to return home. Partly because I had such a great time with my two friends but partly because I knew in my gut that I was coming home to a wife who had checked out. I finally decided that I needed to get into therapy. I wasn't big on this idea but I have to say that it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's just nice to talk to someone who doesn't make me feel as if she is judging me or who has no connect to the things that I talk about. I feel like I am a better person. I feel as if I have better relationships with those around me. I'm closer to Michelle, closer to my family, closer to my friends. Even the rocky relationship that Breezy and I had has improved 100%. Some may know, some may not, that Breezy and I have had a rough road on our friendship. I think we both stuck it out because we knew that when we got to other side of that rocky road that we were going to have an incredible friendship. I'm so glad that we've stuck it out and come out the other side with such a great friendship.
Even the friendships between me and some of my friends here have improved. I find that I want to spend more time with them and that I enjoy the time that I do spend with them just a little bit more than I used to. Maybe it took almost losing everything in my life to realize that I better start to cherish the life that I have. Because it is a pretty damn good life that I have.
And that scares me to no end.

October 27th

2008-10-01T11:10:00.001-07:00

That's my birthday. It's also the day that I start my new job. *grin*

Still no word

2008-09-26T07:01:00.001-07:00

I took down the other post because I think it was a little too personal. I'll be taking care of the issue though.
Otherwise, still no word. I got an email on Wednesday saying they are still in the decision process and will let me know as soon as they make a decision.

So far, so good

2008-09-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

So things went pretty well at the interview today. They are still trying to decide whether they are going to hire within but they seemed impressed with my qualifications. One bummer though is that they loved that I am very well schooled in our health and safety program and that I know how to deal with all of the government agencies and keep them happy. That's a bummer because that is probably one of my least favorite parts of my current job. But, he said that was a huge selling point for them to hire me over the guy from within. So that is sort of a good and bad thing. I was hoping I would lose that aspect of my job when going somewhere else. But if that is one of the big selling points for me then I would have to suck it up and deal with it.
I really liked the plant and all of the people who I spoke to. I already have one friend there because he used to work for my company and he is the one who referred me to the plant manager and President.
The money part of it is just so damn huge that I almost think I would take on anything they wanted just to make that kind of money. I won't say what my salary would be but I will say that what we discussed would be a minimum of $20,000 more than what I am making now. That is just such a huge leap that it would be stupid to turn it down.
The company itself has 71 locations in 26 states and is not a dying company which seems to be what is happening in my industry.
The atmosphere was totally casual. Everyone except the President was in jeans. They even have a shop dog that just seems to wander all over the place. And everybody walks up and pats it on the head and then goes about their business. It's in a cool location in San Francisco. Super easy to get to and from. I was home within 15 minutes. It's very close to AT&T Park which is where the Giants play. It has a bunch of cool little bars and cafes and parks around it too.
Honestly, the only downer seemed to be that I wouldn't be getting surf the internet and emailing during the day anymore. Maybe later, maybe but certainly I wouldn't have the freedom that I do now. :(
But I can't let that one thing taint my decision. I should know by the end of the week whether or not they are going to make me an offer. I realized today that this is the first time in my life that I have applied for a position that was not entry level. I was applying as a professional with a set of skills that was sought after. How strange.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeek

2008-09-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

Color me nervous. I have a job interview on Monday. A much more stable company than where I am now. A LOT more money, better benefits, closer to home. All kinds of yummy goodness. I would be doing basically what I do now but they do have different equipment and capabilities than what I am used to dealing with. But I have 13 years experience in my current position and what I do now would be a part of what I would do there. I feel super confident in what I know and based on that I feel confident that I would pick up the new stuff rather quickly.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I have the qualifications and I would be an asset. And if I don't get the job, I still have a job so it's okay. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. I skeert.

Random pictures.

2008-09-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Grrr, I can't get the comments to line up with the pictures.

Kim in our weird chair.

MM in our weird chair.

How not to hold a baby. (not my most flattering picture, I admit)

How to hold a baby.

My niece and I are always goofing with each other.

Leo the lounge kitty.

Messing with poor Buddy.

Poopy wants her bed even if it means being on the balcony.

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right.

2008-09-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

First out of the chute...RIP to all of those who lost their life 7 years ago.

The hot tub is freaking awesome. I haven't slept that well in years. I slpet right through the entire night with no tosses, no turns. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The new attitude at work seems to be working for me. I don't feel as miserable and I am feeling like more a part of the team and the solution rather than the problem. My input around here is being received with more respect and more weight than before. The only bummer is that now I am in the main office instead of my semi-private one. As a result I don't get to play as much. *pout*

I still have to upload pictures of this and that. I haven't had a chance. Stay tuned, I'll probably just post some random pics. :)

I don't get to get around to the blogs as much as I used to. It is very hit and run. I can run and check now and again at work but not like before. At home I have been keeping so busy that surfing the net doesn't happen as much as before. :(

OT. I liked the idea that Monsty had. It should close down for two months prior to all elections. OT used to be fun. Now 90% of the front page is politics. It's not a fun place to go so I don't even miss it anymore. I go everyday, I see what's there and then don't bother coming back when I scan page one and nothing has changed. OT will probably end up a thing of the past for me except for Twosdays. I miss how it used to be but since that isn't the OT of late I have to just deal with it and move on. R.I.P. OT, you were once fun. Sorry, but Geg, PRE, Hobbs, Singer, Rudy and a few of other OTers (who I can't think of at this moment) have ruined it for a lot of people. Assholes.

Ending on a good note...We both were so happy to have our first night in the hot tub last night. We opened a bottle of our favorite Almond champagne, hopped in the tub and absolutely relaxed. So wonderful.

Toodle Oodle Oompa Boom zing zing

2008-08-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

Crazy busy---
Went to see Melissa Etheridge in concert last week. Rocked the house as always. Love her.

Got a raise. It was not as much as I had hoped for or as much as I deserve but it's a start. We will revisit in December to see how the company is doing. If things are picking up I may get another one.

I've decided to readjust my attitude regarding work. My attitude isn't going to change how things are so it's my attitude that needs to change. I've decided to work on being more positive. At least I have a job. And I was given a raise in a time when both jobs and raises are hard to come by. That is a good positive start. Perhaps if I am more on board, I will end up rewarded. Still looking elsewhere but in the meantime until something else comes along I need to be more in charge of my happiness at work. I feel proud of that.

Today we are going to an art and wine festival and then having a bbq with a couple of friends here at the house afterwards.
Tomorrow we are going to a bbq at the inlaws.
Monday is house day. Projects that we have been putting off will get done.

If I get around to it I will post some pictures of the new carpet.

Tuesday we get back on board the healthy train. I am actually looking forward to it as most of my pants are too tight to wear. Wah.

I'm off to take a shower now. Have a good weekend.

R.I.P. Ms. Martin

2008-08-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all that you did. You will be sorely missed.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/27/BAGI12JDIS.DTL&tsp=1

It's Istanbul, not Constantinople

2008-08-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

We bought a hottub. Which is funny because we live in a townhouse with just a small patio.
I am addicted to Facebook.
Sadly I don't get the computer time that I used to.
I love Wii Ski. Love it. I'm addicted.
We are having the entire house (minus one room) re carpeted this weekend.
As a result, we have to pack the entire house.
Hi. I miss everybody and wish that I got more time to surf around like I used to.

Because Augie did it.

2008-08-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

And because I am feeling pretty stressed and low about work right now, I think this is a good idea.
THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

-family
-friends
-my cats
-Wii
-football season
-This season's Big Brother
-Jessie being evicted
-Vans sneakers
-flip flops
-brownies
-stupid criminals
-going to concerts
-going to baseball games
-going to football games
-Facebook
-reading
-puzzle games
-the support that I get from those around me.

SIGH

2008-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

Today, I hate my job so much that I feel physically ill. I hate my job and it sucks. *sigh* My stress headache is off the charts rights now. Thank God I am off tomorrow for Michelle's birthday. I don't know that I will make it through the entire day here, today. That's how upset I am.

blah blah blah

2008-08-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

Renny, Ollie, Keesha
In that order.

SOBS

2008-08-01T10:38:00.001-07:00

MM is the new fart queen and I am devastated.

P.S. If there is one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal

Stainless Steel soap

2008-07-28T10:16:00.001-07:00

You've all heard of this, right? *grin*

http://www.wasabibratwurst.com/stainless-steel-soap-bar/

Day one

2008-07-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

Day one on my own while Michelle is in New Mexico:

After work I didn't do any chores.
I went to the grocery store and bought brownies and cake mix and an onion.
I made the brownies. Or what was left of them after I ate a ton of the mix raw.
I had a belly ache.
I put some of my books on a shelf. Just so I felt productive.
I played Guitar Hero.
I took a nap.
For dinner I ate steak. No side dishes. Just steak. And I haven't washed those dishes. Probably won't until tomorrow.
Colleenie Weenie is on her way over. We are going to play Wii fit, eat brownies and popcorn and then watch Big Brother. *burp*
We'll see what no good I can do tomorrow on my own. I may or may not do a dish or two. I may or may not empty the cat box. We'll see.
Ohhhh, I did run to 7-11. In a pair of blue camouflage baskeball shorts/orange long sleeve concert t-shirt/tube socks/Crocs/knit cap. Michelle would have never let me go out in public like that. Here is a picture that I took with my phone to show you how bad the outfit really was. I cut my head off in the picture so you don't get to tse the beanie. *grin*

Hug a loved one today

2008-07-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

In honor of our friend, Jill (Mysticwolf), who lost her husband, John, this weekend unexpectedly. I am demanding that you give at least one of your loved ones a big hug today. For no reason other than just because you can. Go. Now.
*hugs all my friends here*<---does not count as my hugging of a loved one today.

Finally!!!!

2008-07-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

I got my Wii Fit, FINALLY. Of course, I had to haul my ass out of bed this morning and go wait in line at Target with 100 other people. But I finally got it. No more daily calls to 3 Targets, One Toys R Us and 2 Game Stops. I bet their receptionists are going to miss my voice. :)
Yay me. I got to see Mamma Mia yesterday and got my Wii Fit today. Pretty good weekend.
I will try and be good between now and Wednesday by not spending every waking minute on it. Michelle leaves Wednesday for 5 days so I can wait until then to spend every waking moment on my video game. Oh hell, who am I kidding...I'm off to go play Wii.

My boring life

2008-07-17T15:36:00.000-07:00

1. I have nothing really to write about.
2. I haven't had my period since May. My Mother asked me if I was knocked up. *snort*
3. The boos who I loved so much, Jim, has left the company. He is working for another commercial printer. Our hopes are that in about a month or two he MIGHT have a job to offer me. It would be more money and less responsibility. It would be a longer commute and it would be normal working hours. It would also mean no playing on the internet anymore during the day. It would also mean that everyday wouldn't be casual Friday for me. But it would be more money and it would get me out of my current unhappy situation. My wife, my Mother, my best friend and my therapist all told me to take it if it is offered to me. All I need is for Monsty to tell me to take it and that will be it.
4. Monsty is the boss of me.
5. Breezy thinks she is the boss of me.
6. I do hope that I get a job offer.
7. I still don't have a Wii Fit. Fucking assholes at Nintendo. Suck my ass, you are pissing me off.
8. I am reading Tori Spellings book.
9. I am watching Tori Spellings reality show.
10. I don't care if you point and laugh, I love Tori and I lover her husband Dean and I love them as a couple. They are the cutest couple ever and I really hope that they make their marriage last. They are cute and I am a fan.

Girls just wanna have fun

2008-06-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Or, I need a nap.
Where did the weekend go? Friday night we went to see Billy Idol in concert. At first I thought he looked a little akward on stage but then he just rocked it out. Michelle and I met a really nice couple, Sara and Patrick, and they would like to hang out and do bbq together. They were a very nice hippie couple in their early 50's. They let us sit in their booth with them and the view of the stage was AWESOME.
Saturday was mostly a blur. Oh yeah, we went to a fully catered, all you can eat, party at a deli where Michelle is friends with the owner. I went home stuffed. Overstuffed.
Sunday was Pride Day in SF. Yay for pride weekend. It was busier this year than in the past. For some reason I always think of Jen and Glow when I am at pride. They came out one year and so now they are permanently imbedded in my brain when it comes to Pride weekend.
After most of the day in the city we then took the train over to Berkeley for the True Colors tour. Main acts were Wanda Sykes, The B-52s and Cyndi Lauper. What a great concert. The B-52's were better than I though they would be and Wanda was so funny that my gut hurt from laughing so hard.
Since I was forced to take Friday off of work, I am now swamped at work. I am hoping to make it around the computerworld today but between all of my work and my nodding off to sleep, I probably won't get out and about until tomorrow.

Chowdah, get your chowdah here!!!

2008-06-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

Our little Monsty is back in business and blogging again. Please visit her but please no linky her.
http://monstahchowdah.blogspot.com/

Counting my blessings!!!!

2008-06-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

So last night after I took a nice long bath to help me feel better, we got a phone call asking if we were okay. As it turns out the mountain where we live was on fire. 200 acres were burned and we were sort of in the path. The fire came within a mile of our house.
Luckily nobody lost their life and nobody lost their house. The fire department was on their shit and they deserve some sort of award for what they did yesterday. They wasted no freaking time in attackin gthe fire aggressively. I have a lot of respect for those guys, I tell ya.
Anyhow, I called the fire department and they put us on evacuation watch. We were told that maybe we might want to put our important papers in the car and we might want to make sure that if we had pets, we knew where they were and we could get to them if needed.
Michelle and I did what we had to do. Got the important papers together, got the cats together and then just started to pack things that can't be replaced. Pictures, keepsakes and such. That is a scary thing to have to do. To stand in the middle of a room full of your possessions and have to pick and choose what you will take. Weird.
Luckily they got the fires out and all is safe. But now today after work I have the task of putting the house back together. What sucks is that I am coming down with something. I have body aches and a slight fever. Imagine doing all that shit last night, running around, letting the adrenaline rule you and do it with a fever. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Here is a link to the story and it has a couple of pictures. The one picture with the sign "South San Francisco, The Industrial city" is the view from my house. The hill with those words on it is basically my back yard. So you can see how close it was to my house.
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local&id=6221624

Viva Las Vegas Baby!!!

2008-06-10T18:20:00.001-07:00

Woooo Hoooo!!!! I'm off to Vegas Baby!!!! I'll be back this weekend. I really, really, really need this vacation. Thursday in the rented cabana by the pool, all day, nothing but sun, pool, drinks and a book in my hand. CAN.NOT.WAIT!!!!

Watch this now!!!

2008-06-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

Sound is not needed. Just watching the faces is enough. Michelle and I were browsing all of the like videos last night and we were laughing so hard that we had tears rolling down our faces. We were also watching the original, Japanese version. Oh fer heck did we laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSDF1aplHPU

No Shoes, No shirt, No Problem!!!

2008-06-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Woooooo Hoooooooo. And *YAWN*
Michelle and I spent yesterday at an 11 hour concert. I have pictures but I haven't downloaded them yet. What a great concert. What a terrible concert venue.
The first part was a free concert outside of the venue with Clay Walker. There were tons of beer and food booths and radio station stuff going on. After that we met up with some friends and had a few beers before going to our seats. The pictures will show how close we were. *grin*
It started with LukeBryan and then Gary Allan *swoony sigh* and the Leann Rimes. *pause* After Leann, I went to use the bathroom. This venue is a small ballpark, perfect for baseball and not meant for concerts. *shakes head* We were down on the field but the lines were so bad that I hiked all the way up to the top level. And I was hauling ass. Thank goodness I've started to get in shape. Anyhow, I'm walking super fast and these two chicks (obviously looking for a fight) made a rude comment to me. Now, if you know me, you know that I don't make fun of or make rude comments to overweight people but I couldn't help myself this time. In their snottiest voice they said "ohhhh, look at you walking so fast like you're all that. Sure wish we could walk as fast as you". It was in this very rude and mocking voice. So in my moment of pissedoffedness I turned and said "Maybe if you ever got off your fat ass and excercised you could". I wasn't worried about them catching me if I had to run. How rude of them. Bitches.
Back on track...I get to the long bathroom line, wait forever and...AND? and...toilets no flushy. Water no worky. Can you believe that a major stadium would lose their water? They did. You couldn't flush, you couldn't wash your hands and the toilets were overflowing. All this and there were still the two major bands left to play. I stopped drinking from that moment on.
Back to the show...Brooks & Dunn were next. Meh. I know they are huge and everybody loves them but honestly other than a couple of fun songs (not Maria), I don't care for them.
But then Kenny Chesney came on!!! That dude knows how to put on a great fucking show. Just awesome!!!! And at the end of his set he brought out Steve Miller who played a couple of his songs with Kenny AND THEN, the Red Rocker came out. Kenny and Sammy Hagar are friends and so for the encore those two rocked a couple of Sammy songs. What a great ending to a great show. Best encore evah!!!!!!!!
And now I need a nap. *yawn*

Firefighter Bravie

2008-06-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

I forgot to get my hat and pin that the fireman promised me.
I'm in the living room just painting my little heart out when I smell smoke. This was not your ordinary, burning a log in the fire smoke. This was brush fire smoke or house fire smoke. Bad smoke. I went outside and didn't see anything but I thought I should call the fire department just to give them a heads up. As I start to go upstairs to get the house phone I really notice the smell getting stronger. By the time I got downstairs to call the fire department the smell was so strong that I almost wondered if it was inside my house.
I wandered out the back door, look next door and smoke is billowing over their fence. In the meantime, I was on the phone with 411 getting the non emergency number for the fire department because when I first dialed I hadn't seen any smoke. In my panic, I yelled at the 411 operator and told her to hang up and call 911 because my neighbors house was on fire. I yelled my address (no city, just street number and street *rolls eyes at self*) and then threw the phone.
I darted to my patio where my hose is, turned it on full blast, threw it over my fence and ran next door. HOLY SHIT!!!!! I look over and the side of their house was on fire. They had been using a PLASTIC dust pan as an ashtray and there were about 200 butts in it. It had caught fire and caught the side of the house and their screen door on fire. I sprayed my little garden hose all over the place until the fire went out. I called the fire department to come out and make sure that I had properly extinguished the fire. That and who doesn't want to see a dozen firefighters. I may be a lesbian but I can still appreciate a nice looking man in a firefighter's outfit. *evil grin*.
As it turns out, the lady was home but didn't answer the door because I was pounding so hard that it scared her. so she went and hid. But when she saw the firemen out there, she opened the door. In her defense I can't blame her. Crazy woman pounding on door or cute fireman standing on back patio. Who you gonna open the door for. *giggle*
Anyhow, they told me I was a hero and that they were pissed because I was taking away their job security. They promised me a plastic hat and some firemen wings. But I came back inside to finish painting before they left so I never got them.
The end.

Thank you, everybody

2008-06-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all of the messages and the hugs and smooches and such. I know that for many, a cat is just a pet. For me and for Michelle, they are family. Our babies. And I wouldn't love them more if they were human babies. So yeah, it's been rough.
Getting through all of the firsts is the biggest thing and luckily a lot of those have happened. First time putting only 3 plates down instead of 4. First time coming home from work and not getting yelled at. First time sleeping without her on my feet at night.
The other cats notice that momma cat isn't here anymore. One is depressed, one is confused and the other is a mix of both. That too is breaking my heart. I keep telling them that momma cat is gone and won't be back.
Anyhow, I don't want to be a total debbie downer but wanted to just say thank you to everybody for your kindness. It has been extremely comforting to know that I have friends who understand my love for my furry babies. *smooch*

RIP Shug 1988-2008

2008-06-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

This won't be long because I can't handle it right now. Anyone who really knows us knows that our cats are our children and we love them deeply. So today is a very hard day for us.
Michelle and I had to put our oldest cat down today. She was 20 years old and it was her time to go. We took her down and let her go. We were in the room as well as our dear friend, Colleen (who is like family to us and to Shug). And that is that. We lost our old girl today. *sobs*

Busy Me.

2008-05-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

It has been and will continue to be busy for me. I have barely had time to think. I love it!!!!
Yesterday after work I spent about four hours with my Mom. She recently started Weight Watchers and was having some problems from the get go. So I went to her house and had a mini boot camp and grocery shopping session with her. After four hours, I think we have her on track. This makes me happy.
Today, we are working the local Art & Wine festival with my parents. My Dad is big in the Rotary Club and he and all of his best friends are the big cookers at events like this. So Michelle and I will go and schlep weenies and soda for him all day. We start at 10:00am and committed ourselves to a full day, up to 7:00pm tonight.
Tomorrow we will be helping Michelle's brother and his wife move. We spent last weekend getting their new home into shape so they can move in and this weekend is move in weekend.
Monday we go to the paint store because we are painting our living room. We are having the house recarpeted and since we quit smoking, we want to paint at least the living room. We want to do that ASAP because we really have no clue when the installer will be installing the new carpet. (He is doing it for free so whenever he has the time in between his paid side jobs he will let us know. We just need to be prepared)
Next weekend is the Kenny Chesney concert and then that Wednesday we leave for Vegas for four days. I think we have one free weekend in June and that's it.
We are also going to see Billy Idol in June. The Pride parade is that same weekend and so is another concert that we are going to. (Cyndi Lauper and The B-52's)
I love being busy. *happy sigh*

OH HELL NO!!!!!

2008-05-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Safeway is out of their mind. For those who don't have a Safeway, they are a supermarket chain here in California.
So they tell us that if we cash our Stimulus payment with them, we will get 10% off our next purchase. So let's say that I spend $100 next time. I end up saving $10. Meh, not spectacular but yes, better than nothing.
But let's think about this. I cash my check there and I save $10 next time. But considering that my social security number is on the check, am I willing to take all the risks involved? The cashier now has access to my SSN. The person who verifies the money at the end of shifts now has access to my SSN. The store manager now has access to my SSN. And everyone between Safeway and until my check reaches a bank deposit now has access to my SSN. Being the skeptic that I am, I will assume that they steal my SSN and commit identity theft against me. How much is it going to cost me in time, money and frustration to restore everything back to normal? Is it worth the $10 I would save on my next purchase? I believe not. My check will be cashed at my bank and only at my bank.

PS---I would like everybody to send me one recipe. A simple recipe. I don't care what it is but I want you each to send me some sort of recipe. Thank you.

Aint it the truth!!!

2008-05-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article tonight in my paper about the new law in California regarding same sex marriage and one of the comments had a point that I had never even thought about.
The comment was "They admonish us for being promiscuous yet they don't want to let us get married." Heh, well aint that the truth.
Hey right wingy nut jobs? Let us get married to each other and we are less likely to be promiscuous. You could probably implement that with priests as well. *smirk*

Wii Fit

2008-05-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

I? am on a quest after work today. I am going to buy the Wii fit. I can NOT wait. *hops* I hope I find it and then I hope I will be able to move tomorrow. *wiggles*
I love my Wii.

Vindicated

2008-05-21T08:33:00.001-07:00

Guess who just got an apology from their boss. Go ahead, guess!!!! *grin*
My hours have been severely cut back though. But that's okay because I got a sincere apology. Less hours, still have benefits and an apology. Sounds like a country song.

From High to Low.

2008-05-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

I swear if I am happy for more than two days in a row, the powers that be are ordered to come and take it away from me. It's certainly frustrating.
My boss calls me into the office and wanted to know when I started with my new hours. Huh? New hours? I've been working these hours for over 5 years. She told me that wasn't true and that in fact, I came to her asking to cut my hours and therefore would only work from 7-2pm everyday. Um, why on earth would I do that? Are you fucking kidding me? I would never ask to cut my hours. She told me that I specifically asked for less hours and that based on that, I am to cut my hours back. she flat out called me a liar. She wasn't even here for two of the past five years. she swears that I never started at 6am and that I just recently started to do this on my own and that it's to stop. I swear that sometimes I must live in a different universe.
In the middle of all of this, Michelle calls to tell me that on her way back to work from the dentist, her car died. Not her main her. Her other car. The one that she just made a verbal agreement with to sell for $4000. Dead. No sale. Oh, and why was she at the dentist? Because she was finding out that 1. She has to have gum surgery and 2. she has to have all of her front teeth (caps and bridges) replaced. At a cost of about $8000 out of her pocket because her insurance doesn't cover it.
At least I have my good friends to stand by me and support me when I'm down.
It sucks to live in my house today. *sigh*

BEST.WIFE.EVAH!!!!!!

2008-05-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am not normally superficial and don't normally base my feelings on gifts but this one has special meaning to me.
Michelle came home tonight and asked me to help her unload the bags from her trip to the store. I did, no problem. She asked me to take EVERYTHING out of the last bag. "It's just your jacket, here".
She says "No, there is a folder". I open the folder and it is tickets to see Kenny Chesney!!!!! Kenny Freaking Chesney!!!!!
She is the best wife ever. For sooooo many reasons. One being, this is a 6 hour show and she HATES country music. She bought them as a gift for me because she saw that I was sad about not going and because she wanted to say thank you to me for some extra efforts I have been making. She just wanted to let me know that I deserve to have nice things done for me. *sniff* I totally started bawling when she handed me the tickets. This means so much to me. And it really isn't about the tickets. *happy sigh*

Friday Night

2008-05-11T17:56:00.001-07:00

Boo, MM and me for our brief time together on Friday. We talked about you. It may have been good, it may have been bad but at least we were talking about you. :)

Say it with Pride

2008-05-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

L-R---Jen, Me, Glow, Ginger. From the 2006 SF Gay Pride Parade.

This is my most favoritist picture of me and Glow.

Oh Canada!!!

2008-05-04T08:03:00.001-07:00

And "Say aylo to my little fraind" /Al Pacino

I love pictures!!!

2008-04-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

L-R... A very drunk me (poor Breezy is supporting me), Jimbo, Breezy, Nookie, MCatt, Arkie. This was taken at my 40th birthday party, October 2006.

Our Worms up my Ass celebration

2008-04-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

Or, When gays marry. (Another beautiful poem by Bravie)
Once in time there was a gay History Detective and a lesbian Bravie.
Bravie wore hats.
HD had facial hair.
They had a worms up my ass ceremony.
And then there was George. George is a sheep.
No!!! Not a real sheep, you silly.
The End

Picture Break

2008-04-23T18:46:00.000-07:00

I stole this from Nookie who stole it from Glow.
RULES:1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say? "AC/DC by Joan Jett
2.How would you describe yourself?"Mud on the Tires" by Brad Paisley
3.What do you like in a guy?"Alcohol" by Brad Paisley. (snooooort)
4.How do you feel today?" Is this Love by Bob Marley
5.What is your life's purpose?The Devil Went Down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band
6.What is your motto?Barracuda by Heart
7.What do your friends think of you?More than Words by Extreme. (snooooooooooort)
8.What do you think of your parents?" YMCA by The Village People
9.What do you think about very often?I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross. (snoooooooooort)
10.What is 2 + 2?" Stays in Mexico by Toby Keith
11.What do you think of your best friend?"Greased Lightnin' from The Grease Soundtfack.
12.What do you think of the person you like?You really got Me by Van Halen
13.What is your life story? Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson
14.What do you want to be when you grow up? Bootylicious by Destiny's Child. (snoooooooooort)
15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?Back in Black by AC/DC
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?"Move On by No Doubt. (snooooort)
17.What will they play at your funeral? Jolene by Dolly Parton
18.What is your hobby/interest?Sin Wagon by The Dixie Chicks. (innocent look)
19.What is your biggest fear?Would You go with Me by Josh Turner
20.What is your biggest secret? Ladylike by Stornm Large
21.What do you think of your friends? Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves by Cher. (OMFG ROFLMAO SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT)
Ya bunch of hussies. LMAO

Fine line between love and hate

2008-04-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

Monsty likes Baked Beans

2008-04-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

Weltek is drunk

2008-04-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Testing

2008-04-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

Lists, get your lists here!!!

2008-04-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Although, I am feeling a bit bitchy today.

1. It's too bad that Cygnus is back on OT. How long before he calls us all baby killers, or supporters of baby killers, again. *rolls eyes* Yep, called him out by name. Yep, that makes me a bitch. so sue me. I still have not gotten over his attempt to make nice with me just to turn into a dickhead again when I refused to apologzie for HIS behavior towards me.

2. Jbug. Probably Cyg's new best friend. I wonder if SHE knows that he's a perv hiding behind religion. Yep, called him out again. I loathe him that much. I loathe him and his behavior and the fact that he uses his religion to judge people. Makes me sick.

3.Grapefruit. I am now adding 1/2 a grapefruit before every meal. According to some diet lady, it helps to level off your insulin levels, or someshit, and it helps you to lose weight.

4. Almonds are supposed to be all good for you too. I'm now adding those to my diet.

5. Breezy says that I need to learn to make me my first priority. I did that today and it felt nice. I didn't even feel guilty about it. I don't think I can make it a habit though. But for the record, Breezy was right. This time. I don't expect THAT to become a habit either.

6. I have lost weight in my fingers, my toes and my chins. Nowhere else. That? pisses me off.

7. I am up to running 5 miles on the treadmill. Not everytime I run though. But the fact that I can continuously run for 5 miles is a miracle considering I smoked a pack and a half for 28 years. Even on the days when I just run for 1/2 an hour, I am running at a 5mph rate. Yay me. But still, the weight is only coming off my fingers, my toes and my chins.

8. Had my first mammogram this month. Well shithowdy aint that fun. The truth is that it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Having blood drawn is 100% worse. I got my little card back. It said the boobs are all healthy and stuff. *struts the boobs around*

9. I want to end on #9 but it bothers Boo.

10. *waves to Arkie* because I can.

What's new?

2008-04-14T06:15:00.000-07:00

I may possibly have a lead on a possible job opening. Maybe. Even if not, it's nice to know that I am putting serious effort into looking. It was always just words in the past. I have now set things in motion so that my name is out in the industry and people know I am looking. and willing to leave my current company. *gasp* Scary stuff. But a must.
I got notice from my doctor telling me that I am prediabetic. I need to lower my sugar levels and my cholesterol. Those are old people problems. I'm now officially old. Fuck.

What the heLL?????

2008-04-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

Where is Kimmer? As in Weltek? As in Cheesehead? Does she think that just because it was her birthday she can just disappear without telling us? Some of us are very unhappy about this. Unhappy indeed. And she will pay. Oh yes, she will pay. She will NOT be getting her birthday spankings. *glares at Weltek*

Bravie see, Bravie do. Or, because Kimmah said so

2008-04-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

1. Are you a righty or a lefty? I am a righty but I practice as a lefty just in case I ever lose my righty. (yes, weird, I know)
2. What is your official job title. One hat says Print Estimator. The other hat says Health and Safety Manager.
3. You can only watch one show---there are limitless episodes. What do you pick?Friends
4. What color eyeshadow do you wear most often? none
5. Describe your current favorite outfit. I'm in between sizes and nothing is a favorite yet.
6. What color is your kitchen? light blue walls, gray tiled floor, white cabinets
7. Who was your first kiss and what was the situation? Johnny Price when I was 5. My first REAL kiss was Danny Walsh and we were in the back of the schoolbus. My first girl kiss was, oh crap, I can't remember her name. Heather? No, anyhow...
8. Who is the smartest person you know online? I know her both on and offline but since I met her online I iwill count that. I think it is Ginger. Plus she has the elevator that helps make her smarter.
9. Why do you not have a myspace if you don't have one? When are you going to get one? If you DO have one--how long have you had it? Myspace is too busy for me. It doesn't seem like my sorta place. And I'm supposed to be cutting back on my online stuff and that would not be helpful to the cause.
10. Who is the most annoying famous person? Gilbert Godfried? George W. Bush? Star Jones? Hard to tell, really.

Holy Crap

2008-03-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

What a bunch of mean bullies. Mean. And Intimidating. And Bullies. And mean. Just mean, mean bully people. *burp* *hic*

Woooooo Hoooooooo

2008-03-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

She's on her way to superstardom. A little something about Lisa's book:

WAKE is now a New York Times Bestseller. It's #9 on the list (children's chapter book) for the April 6 edition.

One woman's Hell is another's Nirvana

2008-03-26T06:14:00.001-07:00

That is what I told Michelle last night.
You know that game that gets played everywhere? The one where you say what would be the one this or that if you were stranded on an island? So I am much more of a pessimist and much more morbid so I asked her what would be the "ones" if she were in hell. She says it would be 90 degrees, her one food would be fish, her one drink would be milk, her one type of music would be country. She asked me my "ones" and if I were stuck in hell my one food would be mushrooms or raisins, drink would be water (she loves water), it would 60 degrees, music would be opera, etc. etc. etc.
We sort of looked at each other and laughed at how completely opposite our likes and dislikes really are. One woman's Hell is another's Nirvana.

Randoms

2008-03-24T08:18:00.001-07:00

Because let's be honest, who doesn't love a random?

1. This past weekend was "weekend with the Aunties" at our house. We had our 11 year old niece. We went to the zoo and had a wonderful time. I guess the highlight was deciding which monkey most resembled her Mother and teasing Auntie Carey by telling her that she had a terd in her trousers. (no, I didn't really. *glares at Breezy) But it made her laugh so we went with it.

2. Fuck you, peanut butter eggs. I am on a diet. First, the girl scout cookies show up the first week of my diet. Now the See's candy Easter egg that I had to buy for my niece's school, showed up. Hmmm, I get to eat 21 points per day. By my calculations the peanut butter egg is about 4000 points. Hrmph.

3. I have a crush on a guy. He is in the phone commercial. I don't know if you all get it and I can't even remember which phone company it is. It advertises about how you have so many minutes that you end up oversharing on the phone. So the guy calls his date from the night before and acts like a total dolt. But everytime he says something stupid, he realizes it and then hangs up and calls back. Just to say something else stupid. i.e. he tells her "you ate like a horse last night" then he makes a funny face and says "you should never say that to ANY woman". Anyhow, he cracks me up and I have a crush on him.

4. At what point when reading a book do you give up on it? I am about 85 pages into A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It really isn't for me. I am not enjoying it but feel like I started so I should finish it. Unfortunately, everytime I pick it up to read it, I end up falling asleep after about 3 pages. And it takes about 20 minutes to read the 3 pages because I keep reading the same sentence over and over again. I thought this would be a great book for me to read since I am on this self improvement kick. But really, I think I might give up on the book. Soon.

5. I didn't realize that I was numbering my randoms. So now I don't know if I should label this as "Randoms" or as "A List".

6. I received an email this morning from someone who I have not had contact with in about 10 years. He is a complete and total moron. I don't know, maybe it's just me but if I had not had contact with someone in 10 years and I decided to send them an email, there are a few rules I would follow:
6a. Spell the recipient's name correctly. What makes this worse is that he sent it to my work email and my work email is my first name @ company name.com. CAREY@COMPANYNAME.COM. And he starts the email with "Hi Carie". Moron.
6b. Use spell check, use punctuation.
6c. Perhaps redneck, racist remarks are also uncalled for. Moron.

7. I have moved past the easy difficulty level on Guitar Hero. I am now almost an expert in the medium difficulty. Breezygirl is soooooooo gonna get her butt whipped by an old fart when I see her. She just wishes she was a rockstar like Auntie Carey.

8. Natalie from Big Brother is not as dumb as her voice would make her appear. Figuring out that the number 8 means something this year in the house and figuring out that the number 8 also leads to Evil Dick returning was quite brilliant on her part. Really.

9. Because I love to end a random on number 9.

I did not use spellcheck nor punctuation check on this post. Just in case someone whom I've had no contact with in the last 10 years shows up.

Ode to my Duckling

2008-03-20T06:09:00.000-07:00

I'm holding this place for a post about my date with our favorite author. From here forward she will be known as my Duckling. *giggle*

Ok, so life has been keeping very busy these days. I am hoping that at some point in the next week I will get to visit all of the blogs that I have been missing. *waves to everybody who I miss*

My date with my Duckling:
I'm not if sure there are words to describe our evening. LOL. I will say that if any of you get a chance to spend time with my Duckling, do it damnit. Lisa is an absolute hoot. I can't tell you how many times I had tears running down my face from laughing. Of course, that could have been the vinegar that she forced me to drink. Yes, the Wheezus made me drink vinegar to prove my devotion to her. She funny, The Wheezus. She also demanding, The Wheezus. *grin*
We went to my favorite little Chinese restaurant for dinner. Unfortunately, My Duckling insisted on ordering the peking duck. I guess in her part of the world ducks have no bones because as soon as she took a bite she spit her mouthful of food across the table, exclaming "IT HAS BONES." I knew we were in trouble after that. She claims that she has cooked duck before. As most of you know, I have problems distinguishing between farm animals. It appears that my Duckling may have the same problem. I bet the ducks that she has cooked are like the McRib sammiches at McDonalds. You know the ones, pressed to look like a rack of ribs but not a bone in sight? That would be a Wheezus Duck. *blink*
Anyhow, there are just some parts of our date that I can not discuss here. I mean, she is on the verge of being all famous and stuff and if someone were to read about parts of our date, it could be scandlous for her. Plus, I want to be the one who sells the info to the rag magazines.
I also have to mention that I am officially in love with her husband. I have a little nickname for him that I am not going to share here. He and I actually bonded before I ever even got to meet my Duckling. *waves to Matty*
I really can't say enough about my Duckling. (she won't believe that because after spending time with me she probably can not believe that I am ever at a loss for words. *snort* ) Lisa is just so fantastic. I was told before meeting her that if I loved her online that I would love her even more in person. And that couldn't be more true. From the minute that I handed her the Happy Meal prize that I got especially for her, I felt comfortable and at ease. She is someone who you want to spend time with, who you want to get to know, who you want to hang out with.
We definitely talked about all of you. Of course. And most of it was good. *grin*
I know there is so much more that I want to write about so maybe I will edit as I think of things. There were just so many things. Her book, her friends, my friends, food, books, OT, blogs, family, lifestyles, crazy mothers, poots. Yes, My duckling and I even discussed poots. *snort*
So I see she stopped by. I also know she is a very busy little duckling so I don't know if she will be able to stop by again. If so, thank you Duckling for a great date. I hope we have the opportunity to get together again soon. Send my love to my Matty as well. *grin*

WAKE

2008-03-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

The new book by our friend, Lisa McMann (aka Wheezy) . I read it!!!! Now it's your turn.
I read the book this weekend and enjoyed it immensly and so now I am telling all of you to run out and get your copy. GO!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!

Yay for the fun people

2008-03-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

Yay for the fun peeps starting threads on OT. It's like the old days. *happy sigh*
And yes, I just called all of you old.

Confliction and such

2008-02-28T15:22:00.000-08:00

*sigh*
I always thought that once I reached my 40's, life was supposed to be better. I was supposed to have a better idea of who I am and where my life was headed. I would have learned from my mistakes, grown smarter and blah blah blah.
Well poop on that. Life was easier and more fun before I turned 40, if I'm being totally honest. anyhow.

OT seems to have become a big clusterfuck these days. I think the EMT thread really showed that.
OT used to be a place where I had fun. I made some great friends and we had great fun and it was a place for me to escape to. Now it seems to be a place that I need to escape FROM.
After that thread, Boner and I got into it. Not just in the thread but behind the scenes as well. and as much as I have been trying to work on my anger and my temper, I lost it today. I definitely made a comment to him in a PM that crossed the line. I knew it as soon as I hit send. He called me out on it and I apologized. But I should have never let some message board get to me to the point of going too far. But, it also isn't just SOME message board. It's been a home and it's been family.
I decided today that I was walking away from OT. That it is a place that causes me aggrevation and a place that gets me riled up. So I made the decision to leave. I told a friend this and she told me that it wasn't fair to her or to others. I sort of dismissed her because, well, she's a friend. So of course she doesn't want me to leave there.
I wanted to check my inbox over there this afternoon, so I went there. *sigh* I have messages from peeps. Some I would call friends. Others I would call acquaintences. Those are the ones that for some reason hold the most weight for me. How backwards is that? I SHOULD listen to my friends. Instead, I dismiss them and listen to those who I hardly know. A couple who I would not be able to name by their real life names. They told me that I would be missed if I left. That they have noticed that I do not post as much anymore and that they miss me. That OT isn't the same without my voice. And a bunch of other nice stuff. It made me feel very, well, very nice and warm and fuzzy. and anyone who has been following my life lately knows that I have not been getting too many warm and fuzzy feelings lately.
So why does it take a stranger? Why do their kind words have more of an impact? Don't get me wrong, they do NOT mean more to me than those of my friends.
Here is one of my unqualified theories: Growing up, my Mom would always say "you're such a pretty little thing". Well now, I am NOT blind. I was not ever a pretty little thing. So obviously my Mom HAD to say that to me so I wouldn't feel like an ugly little thing. So maybe I feel as if those who love me only say nice things because they are supposed to say those things. And I tend to believe strangers because they have no reason to say nice things.
Heh, but I don't always believe strangers either. I was at the store yesterday and this younger girl walked by and told me that my hair looked nice. I giggled, turned red and said thank you. I told Michelle about this and she said "Do you think that maybe she was, well, you know" And before she could finish her sentence, I said "retarded?". She snorted and said "No, ass, I was going to say was she gay?". We laughed because I always assume the worst. I never believe that I am likeable or have nice hair. *grin*
What the fuck is this long and stupid post about again? Good lord. If you are still reading this, what the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you have something better to do? *grin*
Oh, conflict. So I think that instead of deleting my bookmark to OT, perhaps I will respond to my PMs and then just take a short break. And I will rely on my friends to tell me when there is a cool and fun thread that I most post in. <---should never end a sentence with the word in. *shakes head*

This week's manic post

2008-02-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

*pokes head out of cave, temporarily*
HAH!!!!!!!! I BEAT YOU!!!!!! YOU DIRTY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEAT ME AND YOU WERE WRONG!!!!!!!!!! HAH!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!
Rage Against the Machine can kiss my ass. It was the one band that I couldn't beat on Guitar Hero III. After numerous failed attempts, I finally beat it this weekend.

So

2008-02-22T06:26:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much I will be around. But if I am going to keep my blog up, I would prefer the top subject to at least be somewhat positive. :)
I want to say thank you to many of you. I've been receiving a lot of support lately about my obvious breakdown of sorts. I've received support from people who I would have never thought would reach out to me. I thank everybody who has shown concern but I especially want to thank the couple of you who surprised me with such support. Thank you.
I'm a little bit worried right now because my boss started to layoff people yesterday. *worried look* Two got the ax yesterday. I worry about my job.
Michelle and I have been getting along fantastically the past few weeks. The two major issues that we were having seem to be working towards a resolve. I can see the difference in how we communicate with one another, how we get along, how we respect each other. If things stay on track like this, I really believe that we will be able to work things out. It's weird what a couple of weeks of hard work can do. That doesn't mean that I am letting my guard down or that I expect everything to be perfect. But this has been the best that it has been in about 6 months.
I knew things were really getting back on track when SHE brought up the 3day cancer walk. This walk has been a HUGE issue between us. Long story. And truthfully, 100% my fault. So for her to mention it to me and suggest that I participate with Boo and Weltek if the time and place permit, was just such a huuuuuuuuge thing for us. *happy sigh* Whether I (or perhaps we) participate or not is another thing. But the option is there if we choose.
I'm still not having great feelings about OT. I still find myself getting annoyed at certain people over there. So my participation over there is still limited. I just don't feel that purposely going to a place that just irritates me, is very healthy. So babysteps for now.
I think that's it for an update. I hope all is well with everybody else. :)

sigh

2008-02-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I shouldn't haven't posted that last entry. I should have just vented and saved as a draft. Sorry to the few of you who saw it. Thanks for the comments there, though.

Damnit

2008-02-05T08:47:00.000-08:00

I CAN flounce. I CAN if I damn well want. The gays can flounce, ya know.

A tribute to Dbug

2008-01-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

Boo and Jbug sitting in a tree
Aren't they cute as can be?
Boo was nice to the gnat
tru dat
And now they are best friends

13 days and not counting

2008-01-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

As of tomorrow, I am not going to count how many days I have been smoke free anymore. Tomorrow will be two weeks exactly. I have not had any hardcore cravings and I can say that I do not really miss smoking. So from now on I am just a non smoker and the number of days is no longer important to me. That is all. :)

Just things

2008-01-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

1. 8 days, no smokes. Not one.
2. Green Bay won. That was great. I was hoping that the Jags would beat NE. Oh well.
3. I was supposed to go to a karaoke bar last night. I had an in home date night instead. :)
4. I am now perfectly okay with this whole spirit thing.
5. Why have I stopped reading? I have a huge stack of books that I need to read and I have become lazy. I need to start again.
6. I am craving bacon. Mooooooo.<---I realize that it is a sheep and not a pig that goes moooo. I was just feeling like a cow though when I thought about eating bacon.
7. Don't try to make sense of #6.
8. I was told that food would taste better when I quit smoking. To be honest with you, I don't believe that to be true.
9. Again, don't try to make sense of #6.

P.S. Asrai has a new blog addy... http://frombrokentoblessed.blogspot.com/

I'm now a believer

2008-01-11T05:55:00.000-08:00

I tend not to believe the things that my senses can not prove to be true. My senses have now proved true. And honestly I am not sure how I feel about it. I thought I would be more scared. I'm a little unsettled but I'm not sure that I am scared.
Last week I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. My bathroom is right outside of our bedroom door. I go pee and as I am coming back to bed I could have sworn that I saw the silhouette of a little boy playing with toys next to our bed. I didn't trip out over it and I got back into bed. For the most part I had forgotten about it and actually chalked it up to a dream.
So anyhow, I have been hearing some noises around the house lately. Even Michelle has noticed some noises but again we just sort of dismissed it. Last night I was home alone and I kept hearing noises and when I would get up to check, nothing was there.
When Michelle got home I asked her if she thought it was possible for a ghost to suddenly appear in a house when it wasn't there before. She got a weird look on her face, said yes and then asked me why. So I told her about the little boy. She got a strange grin on her face and I asked her if she had ever seen anything before. Still grinning she said "No but someone else has"
GASP!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!!! That? was NOT what I wanted to hear.
We have a friend who claims that she has seen spirits her entire life. This friend is not a quack and she is someone who I always thought believed herself about seeing spirits. I didn't necessarily believe that she did but I believed that she believed.
I asked Michelle not to go any further. I don't want to know where she saw the spirit, I don't want to know if it was male or female, I just don't want to know. Before I cut off Michelle, I did find out that M saw this spirit about two years ago and it was the first time she had ever been to our home. I also found out that it was not a child and that M has not seen the spirit since then. She told Michelle that as soon as she saw the spirit she told it to go away and that she didn't want that spirit to be here. And she has not seen it or any other spirit ever again.
I will admit that as soon as all of this came to light, I blushed a little bit because now I believe that that ghost in my shower really is a ghost who has been pinching my ass. How embarrassing is that?

WDPD? (What did Pam do)

2008-01-07T07:20:00.001-08:00

I wanted to get through the weekend before saying anything. But after getting through a party on Saturday night, some stress on Sunday and a family gathering on Sunday, I feel that I can now be confident in saying that finally after 28 years, I am a non smoker.
Pam directed me towards a book that helped her and her DH become non smokers. So far it's worked wonders for me. I still get the cravings for a smoke but I do what the book tells me to do and it helps me get through it. After going this long without a smoke I would probably get so dizzy if I took a hit that I would either pass out or throw up, LOL, so there would be no good point in ever smoking again. Yippee, I am a non smoker.
This is the first time that I have attempted to stop smoking for me. In the past it was always for someone else. I think that helps to make a huge difference in being successful. Like I said, I still get cravings but I am able to talk myself out of them and at the end of the day, I can pat myself on the back for not smoking. :)

Thank You, Pam

2008-01-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Not sure if you will see this or not but I wanted to say thank you. Pam knows why. I'm the worlds greatest pessimist so I am not going to post the reason here, yet. But I will in a day or two. In the meantime, I want to tell Pam thank you for pointing me in the right direction towards the road to being free.